Sleep and Music

For the first time in many months, I purposely slept as early as 11:15 pm last night. The guy I'm talking about in my last post hasn't been online for 2 consecutive nights now. I'm not sure what's going on. I'm trying to take it lightly. Instead of filling the void with unhealthy distractions, I took the opportunity to do something good---which is sleep.

A good night's sleep is a smart escape from the cruelties of the world. Just minutes before I dozed off, my cousin and I got slightly startled when the peace of our neighborhood was broken by what we surely thought were gunshots. Everything appeared to be normal this morning though.

Aside from the Zs however, I also turn to music for pleasurable diversion. The other night, Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now" brought on the waterworks.While last night, it was Scissor Sister's "Fire with Fire" that was on repeat for more positive vibes. Check out both songs below.





Have a good day!

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Fall. Fail. Rinse. Repeat.

It's always the wrong person or the wrong time. This is the story of my life.

In today's episode, I get heartbroken. Surprise.

It's only been a week since we reunited. The last time we saw each other was over a year go. I've thoroughly enjoyed our chats over YM. Now, I cannot stop thinking about this schmuck who consistently talks about himself. Every time I log in, I now expect him to pop up. And he always does.

But he's fresh out of a relationship. God knows how much I despise it each time he talks about missing his ex and about everything he had planned for them. Don't get me wrong. I am glad I was there during the rough times and he did apologize for making me the shock absorber. But I just cannot comprehend how he has fallen so deeply in love with someone who, based on his stories, seemingly doesn't give a flying fuck about their relationship. It's unfair.

I've been thinking about it. I'm ready to give up my online hook-up accounts for this guy. I think I can give up my double life for him. But it's not like it matters now. It's a lose-lose situation really. He will either retain me in the friend zone or make me the rebound guy.

I really don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I'll avoid him tonight. Maybe I won't.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Cubao Xcellente

Last night was fun. Jeezus, Cubao X is the shit. I really love it there; the art, the vibe, the people, the parties. I joined Erin and his friends Rommel and Paul.

Paul, Rommel and Erin at Bellini's. I came late so I missed dinner.

Erin, being Mr./Ms. Congeniality and all, saw a bunch of friends/acquaintances. He introduced us to Daki (the one in the blue shirt).

And since this is Cubao X, we were bound to bump into resident (fashion) crazy, Marcel who was dressed as a pirate/lolita/french maid. Gotta love him.

As usual, we hung out at I Love You x Future where the music is always good, the drinks are cheap, and the atmosphere is laid back and fantastic. Let's allow the pictures to spell F-U-N.

Next time again guys, yes?

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Back to Zero

After over 24 hours of being phoneless, I was finally able to get my phone fixed to the tune of P500. The technician, who made me wait for an hour and a half, told me it was the program that was causing the problem and reformatting was the only solution. It's not like I had any choice so I went fot it even though it meant wiping out all the contents of the phone memory. All my messages, notes, contacts; gone.


Send me your number if you care. It's literarybulimia@gmail.com.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Keeping Me From Sin

Do you know how frustrating it is when you're about to get laid but your phone suddenly stops working just before you inform your mate of your whereabouts?

I was already outside his building when my damn phone started acting up. 'Message Storage Memory Not Yet Ready' everytime I tried to text even after several minutes of rebooting. It seemed hopeless so I went to the next building to use a computer. I didn't catch him online. The cosmos connived against me I think. The computer was slow and at some point, I got disconnected. I was on the verge of tears by then. I was so desperate I tried making a Chikka account to no avail. You know that feeling when you're so angry, your head hurts?

Good thing my very good friend Shey was online. I gave her his number and had her text him. Through some miracle, I was also able to make a call. But I almost bursted into a raging fit when the Indian guy manning the shop didn't have change for my money.

All that stress for someone who looked much better (and younger) in pictures. That wasn't exactly worth sneaking out of work for. Plus my phone's still completely useless up to now.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Incoherence

My eyeballs are about to drop to the floor. I am way beyond exhausted. My mind is a mess.

You see, since June, I've been working at my uncle's company. At first, I was only asked to "help out" because the current office assistants are hopelessly incompetent. I was getting paid to spend about three hours of computer work in a day. But after a month, I was tasked to do more work in the office only because we'll be stuck in a rut if we rely on these fucking geniuses whom we have yet to replace.

Then, last Thursday, my uncle all of a sudden decided to make me his assistant/sexytary/co-director. The last one is just on papers. I'm not getting any earnings from the new company. That same day, he asked me to fly home the next morning to get some papers signed which was good because I really needed to get away. So I really had a fun weekend.

Now, talk about a manic Monday. There's just so much on my plate. And it's fucking raining like crazy as I type this.

I have to work on a report. Oh, and there's a guest I have to attend to after work.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Cray Cray Thursday

In a few hours, I'll be flying home yet again. It's mainly for business but it's still home so there's still a lot of recreation involved. I really need this you know.

The past days have been hectic. But today takes the cake. I can't elaborate on the details because I badly need some shuteye. But let me just say this; the pressure is totally, totally, on. I mean it just soared to another level. Good luck to me juggling all this. As for now, I have to count some sheep.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Avocado Green

Who misses this?

It's not my favorite fruit but I'm glad my mom made me bring these risking excess baggage fees. They're gifts from friends at the province.

Avocadoes, if I'm not mistaken, are the most nutritious of fruits.

I think these things look lovely---the color, the shape, the texture. It's great that the ones I got barely had eny veins.

Once you get over its resemblance to baby poop (avocadorrhea), you can enjoy it mashed with some sugar. Some people like it with milk but I skipped that. I like it a little chunky so I didn't mash it too much. Biting into the flesh of fresh avocado is fantastic.

Have a delicious day!

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Good Mourning

It has been so many years since the last time I set foot in this place. If it wasn't for my grandmother's passing, I wouldn't have been able to revisit the place where I spent summer vacations riding a bike, hunting for spiders, playing with cousins and riding a carabao.

Of course, over the years, a lot has changed. There's now electricity in this town and most of the roads are paved. What's great though is, despite all the changes, the mountains remain green and the people are still kind and welcoming. Here, I am "artistahin" and my growing up seems shocking to the elderly folks.

But we didn't come here for a vacation. Another big change is the absence of Lola. I certainly felt that depression when I was sitting at the balcony. For a second, I expected her to come out of the door with open arms and a gentle smile, obviously glad to see me. The rest of the town shared this feeling.

Along with the grief though, we felt relief. We're glad she's no longer suffering and like the cliche goes, she's now in a better place. We may have lost a loved one, but we gained an angel.

So perhaps, in a way, it was indeed a vacation after all, a meaningful, bittersweet one with crying and lots of fresh fruits involved. It was also a good chance to reconnect with relatives not seen in years. I even got to chat with two of our former helpers.

That's the thing about grandparents. They may seem so out of touch but, unconsciously, they bring all the important people in your life together and make you realize the things that matter most.

When my time comes, I can only wish I had touched the lives of as much people the way my grandmother did.

For the last time only in this blog, enjoy eternal happiness and peace Lola.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Random Rants

Bereavement Trip

The day after tomorrow, I'm flying off to my hometown to pay respects to my Lola. As I've lamented in my last entry, she died of cancer last week.

I really don't know what to expect. It's good that everybody seems to be coping well though.

UZ

Did you watch last night's Urban Zone? I didn't. I fucking missed it. I was too busy sweeping the floor in my room and slightly rearranging my things.

I thought it was weird when Ellese, a friend of mine who works at ABS-CBN, sent me a text that read, "Urbanista :)." Then suddenly, I got three Facebook invitations from complete strangers. It turns out my comment on Urban Zone's wall about last week's show got read out on air by Daphne. Another friend who was able to watch confirmed it. How cool. Too bad I missed it.

The Coño Stranger

Friday---I was at Makati Stock Exchange to encash a cheque. But I was late so I basically wasted time and money, until I was waiting for a cab to go back to the office.

I walked to the driveway pissed off. I was aware there was a guy about five feet to my left but I didn't pay attention because I was trying to contain a major fit. An empty cab stopped and he went inside. Then he immediately stepped out. He was in his casual-corporate attire. I don't know what came into me because I don't normally involve in chitchat with strangers, but all of a sudden I asked him, "Ayaw nya?"

With his oh-so-coño accent, he responded, "Buendiarealengdoweh"---or at least that's what I thought he said. That's when I realized how cute he was. I began to notice his toned biceps and his subtly charming facial features. He's not the strikingly handsome debonnaire type, no, but he's definitely very cute.

I also noticed how he seemed so uneasy. He kept looking at different directions and a few times, we caught each other's eyes. That's when I realized what's going on so I pushed the envelope. I was like, "San ka ba?"

"Munillah," he replied.

At this point, I was wishing no cab would come by. But as bad luck would have it, one did. But before entering (and this is where I almost fainted/melted/masturbated), he looked at me and flashed a knowing grin. I reciprocated with a slight closed-lip smile. When the cab passed by in front of me, he was still smiling. I wanted to run. I wanted him to get the cab to stop. But I just looked on as he vanished into the Makati traffic jam. Boner.

P.S.
I went back to MSE today. I was able to encash the cheque :) but I didn't see him. :(

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Lourdes

My Lola's gone. After weeks of hospitalization, pain and difficulty, she's finally resting in peace, joining her other half.

She was my last grandparent. Words cannot express how we appreciate her kindness, her warmth, her unpredictable funny outbursts.

Her departure wasn't unexpected. But nothing really prepares you for such loss. We find relief though in the idea that her suffering is over. She lived a meaningful life and her memory will remain in our hearts.

Thank you for being so sweet and thoughtful, and thank you for the fond childhood memories. We will surely miss you, and we love you so much Lola.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

'Tis the Season

"Hi babe. Pauwi pa lang ako, so tired. I got 55 over 60. Hehehe." It's his first text today.

After a good time last night, we decided to meet up this evening. But he ended up too busy for our second rendezvous and rescheduled---of course.

It's that time of the year again when my stars are somehow aligned. It's like I'm emitting this smell that attracts 5, ok 3, 2  good dates or at least decent potential dates. It usually occurs in July, August, September and/or October. Last year, it was The Chef, then there's M from 2008. I wonder who it will be this year. Is it him? How are we going to spend time with each other? What are the sweet nothings that he'll tell me? When is the expiration date? When are we going to stop talking to each other? How long will it take me to get over him?

Tomorrow, I'll wake up thinking about seeing him again. I'll pick my clothes with him in mind. I'll be at work thinking about him. What's the worst that can happen? I'll get disappointed? Heart-broken? Hahah... I already know that.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Multiple Choice

There's this guy who sent me a message online just a couple of minutes ago and immediately gave his number. He wants me to come over to his place. When I asked if I could see some photos of himself, he told me he's actually living with two other guys and I can choose among them. He then gave me URLs to their pictures.

Hahahah... I died.

WTF?! Is this the new trend in STD shopping? In that case, the answer is D.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Yaya you're such a winner!

Housekeeping please! This was taken in Subic last week.

Tomorrow, my life is going to change. Our yaya is leaving. She's going to Dubai to work at my uncle's company. After almost three years, I may most probably have to wipe my own butt after shitting.

But seriously, this is scary. All this time, we've been so lucky to have her servicing us. She didn't exactly do everything flawlessly but God knows how she has made all these years so much easier.

I'm sure she won't be able to read this but "Thank you! I'm glad you finally had your teeth fixed! Arte mo!" Hahah...

Everybody's leaving. My sister is also planning to leave for Dubai in September and the cousins I'm with right now will be off to live in Japan next month. I, on the other hand, am giving Manila another try, perhaps another year.

I really don't have problems living alone. I actually like it. I can feed myself and I can do the laundry for as long as the washing machine is working properly. What I'm most worried about is ironing. Three years ago, when I just started working in Manila, I discovered how stressful ironing is. Now I know why our former planchadora almost burned our other helper's face because the latter allegedly failed to give her some snack.

Anyway, I wish our dear yaya a good life abroad. Thank you and take care 'Nang.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

A Bitch Called Basyang

The typhoon is almost out of the country's area of responsibility but its damages continue to make us suffer. Most of Manila is still out of electricity. This is why I decided to go back to the office to charge my computer and phone because there's still no power at home.
It was a sudden holiday as school and work were suspended due to the power outage. Even Makati was particularly quiet today.

Now, there's this guy who's urging me to check into a hotel because he too, can no longer stand another night without electricity. I'm so fucking broke right now so I don't know. But I'm the one who suggested the idea. Oh my. This should be a very interesting night, checking in or not.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Random Rants

Busy Weekend

Last Wednesday, after so much stress and waiting, I was finally able to pass all the requirements for my graduate school application. I took the admissions test the following Saturday.

Just in time, I walked into the building with my backpack, overnight bag and blank expression and immediately noticed the other applicants at the lobby. I didn't talk to anyone of course. I did spot one cutie though.

When I opened the test booklet, I knew the first part of the test was going to be disastrous. It was Mathematics with algebraic equations and some formulas that almost cost me my college education. Calculators were not allowed so I only relied on instincts most of the time. Out of all 40 items, there were only about five answers that I was really sure of.

The second and third parts of the exam, English comprehension and essay writing respectively, were fine. But I'm already considering other options in case I don't get in. Prostitution is on the top of my list

After screwing up the exam, I went straight to Jollibee to comfort myself with processed food high in cholesterol, salt and sugar. Then off I went to Subic for a wedding. It was my first time to travel alone via bus. I made it just in time for the reception where, for the first time, I was convinced to join the other guys in avoiding the garter.

The rest of the weekend was spent bonding with two good friends as we enjoyed the laid back environment of Subic. It was a great way to somehow take my mind off Mathematics and other sources of stress.

Weather Worries

As of writing, the wind is scarily fierce, the rain doesn't sound pleasant at all and electricity's out. My laptop is left with only 10% battery life. Typhoon Basyang has officially hit Manila. Oh dear God, please spare us.

Let's hope this doesn't get worse.

Sadness

My Lola is in the hospital. We just found out she has cancer. Things are not looking good. I don't know anymore.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Charlene Almarvez

It's been a while so let's talk fashion for a bit, yes?

Say hello to 16-year old Filipino model Charlene Almarvez who just got featured on nymag.com's 'Meet the New Girl' segment.

Oh hunny, yuh bettah werrk those lips!

First Charo, now Charlene. Both got their big breaks through Ford's Supermodel of the World competition.

Charlene recently walked the runways of New York City for Diane Von Furstenberg and Peter Som among others. And she's about to get her European visa. That means we may be seeing more of her in the Paris, London and Milan shows.

This is great news. I have a very good feeling about this girl.

Read more about her here.

Photo: nymag.com

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Pan a la Mode

If I were to guess what angel feces is like, this would be my answer. I know it looks suspicious but my gawd, it tastes heavenly.

Selecta's new flavor Choco Almond Fudge is delectable and goes perfectly with Gardenia.

This rather unexpected combination brings back good childhood memories when my mind was just slightly perverted. Frozen scoops of ice cream in ube, cheese and chocolate flavors would be shoved between a sliced pan de leche. Every bite was a wild burst of flavors and textures.

Tonight, I relived this simple childhood joy because we ran out of cones which turned out to be a good thing. This is great shit I tell you.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Toilet Drama

For now, Handyman is my new Topman.

Our toilet bowl has a visor and the tiles need new grouting. Grout is a new word I learned last night.

Let me just say first that I enjoy shopping for housewear. I love buying/looking at furniture, furnishings and home improvement items. I did not know, however, that buying a toilet seat cover can be so friggin' stressful. I have had to go back to Handyman Do It Center three times in the last three days.

Fine, it's really my fault. Shoot me for not having a tape measure or a ruler even. The first toilet seat cover I got looked fabulous. My cousin even hugged the damn thing. Unfortunately, it was too small. So the following day, I went back and it exchanged for a bigger, less fabulous looking one. (I also got paint and a dust mask among other things.) It was too big and it wouldn't stay up when lifted. So this evening, I paid Handyman yet another visit. The one I got earlier gets second place in aesthetic. It fit the bowl perfectly. Keeping it up takes some technique but whatever. I am done carrying a toilet seat cover back and forth. There are other parts of the apartment that I also need to take care of you know.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Closet Case

Greetings from my new humble abode.

Naturally, everything's still a mess. What thrills me the most about this place though is the closet space. It's insane. My cousin joked about my room being a big closet with lots of cabinets. Even the kitchen is hoarder friendly.

Aside from the small ones on top, there are four big cabinets and each can fit two or three average sized people inside.

Tonight, I'll be sleeping on the floor again. But it doesn't matter. I'm excited to clean and fill this room with my stuff.

I asked the landlady today if I can repaint one of the walls. She seemed concerned and asked what color I wanted. I said I'm not sure yet. I was certain she would have said no if she knew it's crimson that I have in mind.--Yes, like Mr. Big's in Sex and the City!

"I'll check with the owner," my landlady hesitantly said.

Well, it's not like they really have to know. Right?

P.S.
Pet owners who let their bitches defecate anywhere should be shot. More on that in a different post.

literarybulimia@gmail.com