Tuesday, December 30, 2014


What a year 2014 has been. I got to travel to many places for the first time, lost my job, and, importantly, met someone special. Yup, first boyfriend.

It's pretty amazing. The last time I was in a relationship was in college, about 10 years ago. It's great, so far, but I'm working my way through trust and commitment issues. My insecurities also tend to get in the way of happiness at times. I'm in a pretty good place overall though. I love him. He loves me.

Happy New Year! Here's to finding a job, traveling more, and celebrating love!


Thursday, October 30, 2014

Gains and Losses

Lost my job. Met someone.

Life is fair.


Monday, September 08, 2014


So it turns out they've broken up. I'm relieved, sure, but I have some fears;

1. He'll be in a new relationship soon and not with me.
2. They'll get back together.
3. We'll be together and he'll also cheat on me.

Gawd. So many red flags but I still can't stop myself. So much for turning a year wiser.

"...So I'm looking forward to hanging out with you more."


It seems he didn't sense the interrogative tone.

"Do you like that?"



Monday, September 01, 2014


It's official. I can no longer join the 27 Club.

Seriously though, I'm really thankful. The past year has been pretty awesome; I got to travel a lot, I graduated from grad school, and I met new, interesting friends.

Also, this happened.

It was a good decision to go to Cebu this year instead of Boracay.

As usual, I miss celebrating my birthday with my family. But I can't complain.

Special thanks to my friend Luke for showing me around Cebu!


Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Guys You Meet on Grindr (Part 2)

The One You've Already Met Before

I met this one through his friend whom I was constantly talking to at the time. It didn't work out with his friend and I, but I bumped into this guy at the mall a week or so after this exchange of messages. One more time and I'll be convinced it's really the two of us who are meant to be together.

The One Who's Not Interested

Notice the time stamps.

Ah, rejection. Ouch.


Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Guys You Meet on Grindr (Part 1)

The One From Way, Way Back

It's funny because this one pretty much just disappeared by the time I was already falling. Good thing he did.

The Grammar Expert Wanna-be

Imagine waking up to this bullshit. He was just so compelled to tell me. Hah!


Tuesday, June 10, 2014

The End of An Affair

So I finally said it.

It had to happen.

On somehow related news, here are some brilliant music videos by Sam Smith, who is singing his way to my heart right now.

Is he the gay Adele? I say yes.


Saturday, May 31, 2014

Reminders About Risks

It has been two weeks since I went through yet another horrific ordeal brought about by some risky behavior. Let me just say though that I have been significantly careful since my last test, but I do understand that it still didn't completely eliminate the risks--not that I intend to live a saintly life anytime soon.

I'm grateful and happy about the result but I think it's a continuous battle. I've had the tendency to get really paranoid especially since a friend recently admitted to being positive (it was actually what really pushed me to finally check my status again), but I think you can't be too cautious, can you? Or do you risk missing out? There's a part of me that is convinced I should just totally avoid getting myself in risky situations but another part of me believes that I should live to the fullest and that involves taking risks.

In any case, it's good to always remember that no one is worth the trauma of not just the ailment itself but also the major mind-fuck that comes with getting tested knowing that you didn't protect yourself enough. Going there, Facetime-ing with family who were oblivious about the shit I was going through, while waiting for the result, was not fun at all--one of the most horribly surreal moments in my life.


Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Bitching About the Beach

I'm in serious need of a beach trip. This heat is just never good unless it comes with sand and sea!

I've been working remotely for four weeks now because we're in the process of moving to a different office so I've had some time to go on vacation. I did manage to squeeze in a Boracay trip two weeks ago when I went home but my tan is almost gone and I don't want to spend the rest of my time in the city. I have had enough of staying home, watching 'Hair Battle Spectacular' right before indulging in 'Sex and the City' reruns every afternoon while sweating like a pig. I turn on the AC but only once in a while because I'm trying to avoid electric (bill) shock. On Monday, we're back to regular programming at work, which means I only have a few free days left for frolicking in the glory of summer global warming.

So yeah, take me to the beach, will you?


Friday, March 28, 2014


I'm pretty much done with work so I've been revisiting the past by reading my old entries and boy has it been entertaining. I'm so glad I had most aspects my life chronicled until, of course, last year when I started to neglect this little online diary. So, in an effort to keep this journal alive, here I am, blogging from work.

Out of the subjects I've discussed here, I think it's the flames that I've had that really provided the most interesting material. I also realized blogging about such encounters allowed me to keep tabs of the type and number of guys I've met, which, I have a feeling, will be beneficial in the long run. So allow me to recall some of my attempts to find (or not) "the one" within the past months.

Let's see. There's that young interior designer from late last year with whom I reunited lately. There's John, someone I had hoped to see again - I just didn't expect it last week when I did, at The Fort. It didn't end well. No. Then there's that balikbayan guy from Australia that I met in Boracay. There's K who kicked off this year's dating life for with me. He was nice but not interested enough for another rendezvous, it seems. There's that one who came to my place but didn't even get past the staircase only because I didn't think it was worth it. Then the Valentine's Day guy. Ugh. I kind of regret that. Another bad idea came in the form of the Japanese-inspired one who lives near Rockwell. That wasn't worth it. Then of course, there's that recent reunion with that guy from last year. He's a controversial case. He breaks my heart and melts it at the same time.

That's it for now.


Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Freaked Out, Fucked Up

I'm close to a meltdown. Work has been super stressful lately. Between writing and styling, there seems to be nothing going right. Ok, maybe that sounds ungrateful. I need a breather. No, I need to work on that revision and get those pull-outs. Oh, fuck it.


Friday, February 28, 2014

Quick Hello

Hello, I'm alive. So busy with work lately. I'm on the brink.

By the way, follow me on Instagram, yeah? totallyscottie


Monday, January 27, 2014

Blogger Be Gone

I don't know about you but Twitter killed the blogger in me. And then there's Instagram. Also, I've been writing for a living so I've pretty much exhausted my vocabulary by the end of the day. I miss blogging but it doesn't seem to be as appealing to me as it used to be. Hopefully, I'd have that eagerness towards yapping about random stuff here once again.