Saturday, November 21, 2015

Disarray and Differences

Have you ever been with someone who's just so different from yourself that it kind of makes you stop and wonder what you're doing with this person? I have thought about it countless times; how we have differing, sometimes opposing, opinions and preferences. It's tough meeting in the middle, striking that balance. It makes you think that maybe we're not really meant to be together. Maybe it's not meant to work out. But I always go back to that time when we had just met, when everything seemed right, and we were both really happy. I understand it was a stage when we haven't fully revealed ourselves to each other, but it was a time of so much joy and promise nonetheless. I also hold on to every 'I love you', every touch, every kiss. Besides, I'd like to think that incidental differences are no match to strong will. I think this, we both agree on.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

A Year Later

When I told you, "I'll get over it," I didn't think you'd become even more distant. In fact, I was hoping you'll help me out of it. Is that too much? I mean, you're a big reason why there's something to get over with, in the first place.

It has been a year since you sent me your resume so I could proofread it. Today, you couldn't even send me a text. You did, only after I asked where you were.

It's crazy how much change a year can do. Exactly the same period last year, I was the happiest. I was out of a job, but I was so damn cheerful. Because of you. Now, I can't even remember how many times I've broken down to tears within the last 24 hours or so. Because of you. And because of me too.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014


What a year 2014 has been. I got to travel to many places for the first time, lost my job, and, importantly, met someone special. Yup, first boyfriend.

It's pretty amazing. The last time I was in a relationship was in college, about 10 years ago. It's great, so far, but I'm working my way through trust and commitment issues. My insecurities also tend to get in the way of happiness at times. I'm in a pretty good place overall though. I love him. He loves me.

Happy New Year! Here's to finding a job, traveling more, and celebrating love!

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Gains and Losses

Lost my job. Met someone.

Life is fair.

Monday, September 08, 2014


So it turns out they've broken up. I'm relieved, sure, but I have some fears;

1. He'll be in a new relationship soon and not with me.
2. They'll get back together.
3. We'll be together and he'll also cheat on me.

Gawd. So many red flags but I still can't stop myself. So much for turning a year wiser.

"...So I'm looking forward to hanging out with you more."


It seems he didn't sense the interrogative tone.

"Do you like that?"


Monday, September 01, 2014


It's official. I can no longer join the 27 Club.

Seriously though, I'm really thankful. The past year has been pretty awesome; I got to travel a lot, I graduated from grad school, and I met new, interesting friends.

Also, this happened.

It was a good decision to go to Cebu this year instead of Boracay.

As usual, I miss celebrating my birthday with my family. But I can't complain.

Special thanks to my friend Luke for showing me around Cebu!

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Guys You Meet on Grindr (Part 2)

The One You've Already Met Before

I met this one through his friend whom I was constantly talking to at the time. It didn't work out with his friend and I, but I bumped into this guy at the mall a week or so after this exchange of messages. One more time and I'll be convinced it's really the two of us who are meant to be together.

The One Who's Not Interested

Notice the time stamps.

Ah, rejection. Ouch.