I'm not even sure if you'd ever be able to read this but, hey. I need to let it out.
I may have to cut ties online. It has been really difficult moving on. Merely seeing your name gives me anxiety. When I notice you're not ok, it bothers me and makes me want to be there for you. At the same time, it would also get me down when I realize that you may actually be doing great without me. I don't quite know what to do. I've been really lost. I even did a few stuff I'm not really proud of just to forget and get distracted.
I miss you. I miss waking up next to you. I miss your hysterical laughter. I miss going out with you. Like I said, you're like a ball of sunshine that just makes everything better. At least for me. Your presence served as my reward or prize after a hard day at work. You made me feel loved and assured, which is why it hurt so much when, all of a sudden, you left. I thought, after six years, it's finally our time. Sayang.
Sabi mo hindi pa pala tapos ang storya nyo. Sana you figured this out before making me believe that you loved me. You didn't mean it, sure. It doesn't change the fact though that you made these important realizations, this change of heart, at the expense of someone else. Someone who truly loved you.
Maybe I didn't show it enough but I loved you. I still do. I got there slowly but surely.
I keep wondering if you're happier now than when you were with me. If ever hindi, I hope you think hard enough and figure out what's going to make you truly happier and make the right decision.
In any case, I hope you're getting the love you truly deserve.
Take care, Starboy.
literarybulimia@gmail.com
