Suck. It. In. Bitch.

I’m sitting in the office right now and I can’t help but contemplate on how fat I’ve become in a span of one month. It’s crazy. Seriously, somebody needs to hit the gym and lay off the extra fucking rice. Right. Well, actually I did go to the gym last night and sweat out a little but I had Mom’s spicy crabs with rice after that so yeah, you get the picture.

Anyway, I really want to stop gaining weight now and convert the fat to muscles or at least just lost maybe 3 pounds? God forbid I go back to my fat kid phase; the inflated cheeks, the humungous waistline and the flabs, oh the horror! Don’t get me wrong though, I have nothing against fat or as Bryanboy puts it, “festively plump” people. In fact, I love them. They’re great and I have a lot of these voluptuous friends. They’re all fun and funny and confident. I, on the other hand don’t think I can handle the “weight” of that. I’m just so used to my thin, manorexic self. Besides, I’m in no condition to update my wardrobe with sizes in Large or even Medium. I’ve always been in the S or even XS category you know.

Slipping into my skinny jeans and semi-fit shirts is quite frustrating nowadays. It’s either my gut is spilling out or the site of bulges everywhere is just so hideous I end up changing into something more flattering. Ugh. It’s fucking hard having to look at the mirror dismayed with the site of yourself muffin-topping out of your pants.

I know there’s no point whining about it since that doesn’t shed off the lbs anyway, especially if you eat like a construction worker out for lunch during each meal. But I just need to vent because it’s been bothering me for weeks now.

A lot of people actually say I’m in good shape and that I should keep it this way but I disagree. Sure, I wanted to gain a little wait but not this much! AND I didn’t want any of that going to my tummy.

I want to have “hit the gym at least 3 times a week” as my new year’s resolution but we all know these resolutions go to the crapper eventually. I’m not really a diet person either so that’s definitely not an option. I eat practically everything edible; the more the chocolate the better, the more the oil the best. Hahahahah…. Yeah, I’m pretty reckless with what I shove down my esophagus.

Oh well, there’s always the Tyra sensibility to make me feel better about myself. I’m fat, SO WHAT?! Say it with me now “Inner beauty, love, family, friendship… Inner beauty… Inner beauty…”

Oh please, who am I kidding.