For the first time in my life, I'm feeling a painful blow against my sexuality. I really didn't pay attention to such concepts before as I know what is right or wrong---and that doesn't mean I've been living a virtuous life. But when someone else who I truly value, someone whose thoughts, beliefs and inclinations may slightly differ from mine, is involved, it becomes an all-important dilemma commanding each tear to fall.
It's unfair that the decision, willingness, determination to commit to this one person seem not enough. I'm worried that these feelings are seemingly inadequate. Well yes, love is powerful. But love for what, or for whom, conquers all?
All this because I'm gay?
The entire time I've been keeping the faith, hoping. I honestly feel like I've evolved into a different person capable of that much patience, restraint and understanding. Sometimes I think I've completely lost my mind. Maybe I have. But I certainly have not lost my determination. At the end of the day, I'm comforted by the fact that I'm doing my part in the best way I know, with all that I have.
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