Thursday, January 05, 2012

Sparklers and Tearjerkers

It's a new year but for some reason, I feel like nothing has changed except for the last two digits on my calendar.

I welcomed 2012 at home with my family, or at least those who were still there. We sort of celebrated it with my sister too who is in Dubai. It makes me wonder if that's how we're going to spend the following holidays once my parents leave.

It was great to be home. I got to bond with everyone; cousins, nephews, nieces, friends. But a certain pain would pierce through my now less toned chest. It has always been the plan. I've been hoping for it to push through. People asked me how I feel about it and expressed my support for it but it wasn't until recently that I realized how difficult it's going to be when my parents leave for the US and me left here with no immediate family member in the same country.

I always thought I was independent enough. Hah! Now each time I think about it I get so damn emotional making me want to fly back home and just relish the time we have left together.

I understand. I have siblings and I'm sure there have been many instances when they've wanted to jump on the next flight just to hear my parents say everything's going to be okay and feel their embrace.

Oh gawd. The things I'm saying now. This is supposed to be how we spent New Year's Eve with sparklers, polka dots and drinking at the side of the street.

I know I just said it seems like nothing much has changed. Well, now that I'm thinking about it, brace yourself.

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