Wednesday, June 05, 2013

State of Confusion

First of all, I hate that I don't get to blog as much anymore. But it's because I've been really busy, both because of the crazy workload in the office and the demands of school. Speaking of the latter, it has been bothering me so much as of late that I think I've been sinking into depression. It's evident with the amount of food in my fridge.

I am proud to report that I have successfully completed the academic requirements of my degree. But there's one more fucking hurdle that I need to go through; the thesis. The defense is scheduled to occur this August 10 and I have barely started. Seriously. My Introduction is in a state of disarray. It was gunned down by my mentor this weekend and I don't know if I can fix it on time. I'm really not sure if I could finish this whole thing before the defense. The good thing is, I haven't enrolled yet. I've been seriously considering filing residency for a term but it was never really the plan, especially since my whole family has been expecting me to finish school by the end of this term. But more than anyone else, it's me who cannot wait to conclude my grad school stint. I just don't know how to do that right what with all that's going on. The last day of enrollment is this Saturday and I have until then to decide. There's not a day that I don't have this mental battle within myself. It makes sense to skip a term but the pressure and my own pride are pushing me to just dive in and get it over with--granted of course that I finish my paper on time.

So yeah, it's been driving me to the edge, this thesis dilemma. In fact, I went to the ER last Monday to have my throat checked because it has been sore and the pain was killing me. It seems stress has started to take its toll on my health.

There's just so much to do and being sick is the last thing I need. Like right now, I should be doing that damn paper, but I'm not, so until my next meltdown next time.

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