Depression

I'm depressed.

Sometimes, when you play around, people tend to not take you seriosly. I know for a fact that I haven't been in the field for too long to say that I've gone tired of it. But that's pretty much how I feel right now.

I'm sick of sleeping with strangers who don't intend to call you or communicate with you in any way after a night of indulgence. I want something more than that. I don't wanna get into the details since it's not really me to divulge these things but I just can't hold it in anymore. This void is getting bigger.

Last night, I did it again. Not that I regret anything as of the moment. But it just doesn't satisfy me that much anymore. It's cheesy and downright stupid but I was expecting something more intimate and lasting---like calls or messages the next day. Not just carnal hours of exchanging bodily juices. It's fucking frustrating. Especially after you've already tried reaching out and get nothing but hopeless responses.

I'm fucked up.

I don't even know why I'm about to hit the PUBLISH button but whatever. I have to at least try to purge this out.