Friday, July 20, 2007

Purge

It may seem like all I know how to talk about here is clothes, mundane dilemmas, work and other shallow stuff, but really, there's a lot of stuff brewing inside me right now. I can't even put to words how impatient I am about the pace of my life, or how worried I am for myself or for my family back home, how deeply sad I am that I constantly feel so alone and all. Don't even get me started about how fucked up I am at the romance department and how I no longer find one-night stands or two-night stands that satisfying. I can't say I'm done with it, I dunno. I think I just want something more meaningful, more lasting.

I have insecurities. I bathe in insecurities. I comfort myself by thinking that if this person is rich good-looking and smart, I assume that he has a fucked up family or a puny penis. I have no idea why I'm saying all these things but I swear to god I am so sick of taking it all up. I'm so far from being perfect or being amodel citizen but hell, I've been trying to straighten things up.

At the end of the day, no matter how shallow I am, I do know how to set my priorities.

*I know I should not be forgiven for the things I write here considering I am a journalism graduate and I should know what is publishable and what stinks, and that i should be careful enough with my nouns, verbs, adverbs, splling and what not, but please, spare me. I don't edit my posts and I don't read them before I hit PUBLISH.

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