Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Emo Purge

How much is enough? Gradually, I think I'm starting to see and hopefully truly accept that things are not going to work out as I had hoped. I'm fucking tired.

When you continually hurt and disappoint people, you lose them.

The term just ended and I am entitled to enjoy about 2 weeks of time off from school. While I do find relief in that, it's funny how all the personal, emotional issues are surfacing lately. It's not fun. I thought I was doing good then that little crack becomes a humongous whole; the next thing you know, everything crumbles. If only I could manipulate myself to not feel this, not feel that and be more this way and think of it that way. But alas, I'm nothing but a lowly human being. No telekinesis, no super strength.

In addition to my own issues, my sister just got herself into another relationship mess yet again. I'm so angry like hell I can barely contain it.

How timely all this drama is, my birthday is coming. Is this quarter life crisis? Based on historical records, I should be partying, dating and getting laid around this time of the year. Instead, I'm cooped up at home feeling like shit if not extremely bored. I need a real break.

To be honest, I'm scared. I think I care too much even when I feel like I shouldn't. Ugh. The fuck. I need a drink.

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