The Escort

OMFG, you guys. I was an escort last night. No, I didn't sell my own perfectly marbled meat to a rich, aging gay dude--although that would be an interesting story too.

It was a cousin's 18th birthday party. Her mother doesn't want her to have an escort who's a non-relative and we don't really have many relatives here so she asked me. I was strongly against it because a) I'm too old for that shit b) It's not my scene, and c) I just want to be in one corner being left alone eating all the lechon I can stuff my face with.

When she first asked me, I told her not to count on it and look for someone else but in the end, I had to say yes. She asked nicely and her mom, my aunt, goes the extra mile when looking after me and my sister.

Honestly, I don't get it. I know it happens only once but If I had that money to burn, I'd spend it to go to Europe or tour around Asia and shop. But that might be just me being in my mid-twenties. I would probably also choose the party as a teen.

As I expected, it was a hot mess. It rained almost all night and one of the kids who did a dance number hit his head on the ground. I think he's OK. Everyone seemed to have had fun though. So much so that some of the guests and the debutante didn't sleep until the sun was up. Oh, and one of her friends fainted, so duh, if that's not fun I don't know what is.

As for me, I was struggling to fake-smile half of the time. But that's nothing compared to trying to sit straight in front of everybody. I had fun though despite the fact that I was one of the last ones to eat. It was pork festival and boy did I dig into all that meat.

It's out of town so I spent the night in my aunt's place. A lot of the other guests did too, actually. It was a good idea as the rain turned into a full-on storm. The weather was worse today but that didn't stop me from getting this before going back to Manila--even if it meant getting soaked in the rain.

My buko pie of choice, Loumars of Tagaytay. Auntie introduced this to us.

I'm glad I'm through with that. It's not as bad as what I was afraid of but it ain't really over until the pictures come out and you better believe I'm going on an 'untagging' spree.

literarybulimia@gmail.com