Friends Until Further Notice

Are you the answer?

Is mine a sad story pre-written by fate?

The reason why you should never lose hope is because you would not recognize opportunity even when it's not standing right in front of you. But what if it just becomes too difficult to hold on?

I'm not good at heartbreaks. Considering how many times I've experienced it, I should be good at this by now. But you never really get used to it. I'd be laughing at myself if it didn't hurt this much. I guess I have to stop thinking about what I'd be like as a Jew.

Simply put, as I understand it, he needs to work on himself first before he can be in a relationship and work on ''us''.--- Work. There's a word.

In fairness to him, he's been honest and he apologized for his shortcomings. He did exert efforts to make it work. Last night, he made a promise. But for the meantime, he wants me to keep my options open.

I never even got to tell him about the Garlic Potato Soup that I made. He's the one who suggested it.

P.S.
Some stranger just messaged me online asking if that was me he saw at Rockwell 2 weeks ago and provided a detailed description. That certainly was me. That's the night MFG and I had dinner.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Mushroom

Look what sprouted among a pile of damp rugs at my laundry area yesterday morning.

It's so freaky! It came out of nowhere. I couldn't get over it so I just had to take a picture. Another one appeared last night but both died today.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

The Haggard, The Helping and The Heart

Somebody give me an award!

When I woke up this morning, I knew it was going to be a full day, but I didn't know it was going to be this crazy. The 5 carat diamond that formed in my bladder today while stuck in traffic and while waiting at the DFA is not even half of the story.

I dropped by at the office this morning, sent money on behalf of an uncle, then went straight to the DFA for an urgent concern regarding my sister's documents. The liaison sounded like an unhelpful prick over the phone so I decided to just miss work and do it myself.

After four hours of starvation and what seemed like a lifetime of waiting, after calling home to greet my dear pops a happy birthday and after two phone calls from abroad regarding more favors/errands, I went back to Mandaluyong to meet friends who are staying over my apartment in the next few days.

It had started raining really hard when we left the my place. They went to Tiendesitas for debauchery while I headed to school, but not before paying for the credit card bill which was due today. It was supposed to be easy if the Bayad Center nearby wasn't already closed. I had no choice but to take a detour and paid at SM just before finally making it to the classroom---panting, with wet shoes.

After the good round of discussion in class, I checked my phone to find 6 missed calls---from the office. It was the secretary who was still at work at 8:30 pm. Bitch couldn't find some files so I had to call her. It pissed me off because my phone was getting low on charge. I had to drop by 7Eleven to charge my phone before hopping on a cab to finally do something for myself.

With my Marketing book on the left hand, a bag of Starbucks goodies on the other, and hope in my heart, I marched to his office not knowing how he'll take my surprise visit.

He was in a meeting when I called. He came up to me with this smile I haven't seen him wear before. It was good seeing him looking happy like that.

"Mission accomplished," I said to myself.

I watched him walk away taking with him the coffee and muffin that I brought, that smile of his, and a good part of me.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Mad Man

You know how strong your feelings are for someone just thinking about it makes you cry?

I was talking to a good friend over the phone the other day. After a good round of cheerful conversation and laughter, I realized she was right when she pointed out I've never talked about a guy like this before. She somehow found it mesmerizing how serious I am with this one. It's not just her. I was with H yesterday and she noticed it too.

I'm honestly uncertain about where or how this will all turn out as nothing is black and white. But just like he said, anything worth keeping is worth waiting for.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Fridate

I kicked his ass shooting hoops! Err, he's sick but whatev.

MFG. Me. Dinner. Timezone. :)

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Random Rants

Second First Day of Class

When I left the house and it started to rain really heavy, I was wishing I had a car to drive to school. It's a bitch going around the city via public transport when it's pouring.

This class was more fun I think. The introductions were much simpler, and we actually had a lengthy discussion about the course. At some point though, it got too cold, I couldn't even concentrate. I had bullets for nipples.

About 15 minutes before we were dismissed, this guy nonchalantly walks in and explained he was late because he just got into a car accident and had to file a police report. Suddenly, the MRT wasn't so bad.

At the end of the class, my groupmates and I exchanged numbers.

Just Say It

My favorite geek is right. I do have trouble saying no. It's mostly because I don't like confrontations and awkward conversations. Sometimes, believe it or not, if it's not such a burden on me, I tend to compromise my own convenience. My idea of "being nice" is fucked up, I know.

This has to change. This. Will. Change.

MFG

I miss you.

P.S.
I already said no to the guy who wanted to share the Internet connection---nicely of course. No fist fight necessary. lol

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Intro

Just when I found the classroom, I realized it never occured to me to bring a notebook. So sweating like a pig, I made my way to National Bookstore. When I got back, there were already about 3 people inside the room. Nobody talked to anyone. Not even nods were exchanged as far as I'm concerned and I was perfectly fine with that. I sat the closest to the front (second row) while everybody seemed to avoid the seats at the center, except for this not bad-looking guy who sat about two chairs to my right.

People trickled in as I patiently sat there trying to appear cool and calm while these two girls to my right chattered about. A few minutes after the scheduled start of the class, this svelte woman barged in wearing a smile and some pretty fabulous heels.

As expected, we had to introduce ourselves one by one. Not only that, at the end of the resume information, we needed to provide an answer to the question "If you were a product, what would you be?"

With as much bravado I could muster, I stood up and said my piece.

"Hi. Call me James. If I were a product, I would be a bag because... I'm a hobag at heart?"

Fine, I didn't really say the last part. I was even too shy to say it would be nice to be a black, croc Birkin.

The introduction to the lesson went smoothly although I realize there's so much I need to learn. It's strange for me to say this but I wish we had even just a little discussion about the course itself and not just an outline of what to expect from it. But no, she let us go about 2 hours early. Oh, but only after our Vietnamese classmate had our group picture taken!

On the way out, I was surprised to be approached by this guy who works as an area manager(?) for FedEx. He must have thought I'm into the puss puss because he called me "pare". I wonder if I changed his perception after actually talking to him.

Climbing the stairs of the LRT station, I came up to a classmate in front of me who was going to the same directoin. He seemed to have worse socializing issues than I do. I could only say so much niceties so I decided to hop on the first train that stopped while he was lining up to get a ticket. I'm a little sorry I didn't say goodbye.

That's about it. Not so interesting eh? I have another class tomorrow though, so we'll see.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Back to Schoolness

How does the first day of school make you feel?

When I was in high school, this day got me worrying so much about which class I fell under. For three years, I (my mom) had to pull some strings just to let me stay with my friends in section 3. During the last year though, I gave up and just stayed in section 1 which turned out very well.

Tomorrow,  I'll be starting school again. It's not high school, thank God. But I still can't help but feel anxious. I'm supposed to be inspired, not pressured.

I honestly don't know what to expect. But I hope this learning experience is a good mix of maturity and fun just like this interesting combo of hot tea with mint leaves and Nutella sandwich that I'm having right now.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Staying In is the New Going Out

It's amazing how I've evolved into a younger, watered down, third world version of domestic daddy lately. Just last night, I was in the shower scrubbing the fuck out of that floor like it's a Vogue Hommes editorial. The only thing missing was Meisel and maybe a flat stomach.

I was dripping with sweat two nights ago doing home improvements while yesterday, I spent the afternoon slaving over my tuna-prawn pasta. I'm proud of it!

I also recently tried iced tea with mint leaves. I think I have to put more leaves next time.

Also last night, I found myself chopping carrots which I mixed with corn and sauteed in butter.

Staying at home the entire day doing chores does get very frustrating, especially the cleaning part. But I think I'll be fine.

I have to cut this short. That pan of potaters won't mash itself.

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Because I Need More Education

As I inhale the free snack provided after the 2-hour orientation, seated alone on a bench across the building where most of the other new students were, I realized how far I was from everybody. I observed how each stranger sat next to another stranger and just seconds later, they start chattering about.

Today was a long day. I am officially a student again.

I've been anxious about the enrollment because it's the same time the ID picture is taken. That's all fine and good except they required us to be shot in a long-sleeved shirt (in a plain, solid color that would look prominent against a beige background) with a tie. First of all, I didn't know how to tie a tie. Then I realized I also didn't have any shirt that fit the description.

So off I went to Greenbelt yesterday. It's the first time I went to a mall in quite a long time. After getting this simple shirt in eggplant from Topman, I decided to walk around. It's funny how I spent so much time in SM supermarket, Dimensione and Ace Hardware! It's so Nate Berkus and Martha Stewart rolled into one! Anyway, when I got home, I learned how to do a half windsor thanks to YouTube.

Fast forward to this afternoon; I was in the men's room struggling to secure the top button of my shirt. I swear I almost choked myself doing it. Did my neck get fat? After about 30 people took what could have been my spot in the line, I was able to get the button through the whole. And boy did I tie that knot very well---blood circulation be damned! Now I wish I could say I worked it in front of the camera. But my picture isn't even GQ cover material. It was just OK. Oh well.

Sitting there didn't feel pathetic surprisingly, although a part of me regretted that I didn't mingle with the rest of the students. Then I figured I have at least a year to get to know these bitches so I called my mom instead and joked about how I wasn't able to enroll because the money wasn't enough.

This ought to be an interesting learning experience. Wait... I'm not the graduate school version of Cady Harren, am I?


literarybulimia@gmail.com

Pinay at FNO 2010

Look who made it to the second year of the Vogue organized event Fashion's Night Out. As you may already know, it's fashion week in NYC. Our girl, Charlene Almarvez, strut it out together with over a hundred models including runway legends Gisele, Naomi, Karolina and Coco in The Show which is spearheaded by the queen bee herself Ms. Wintour.

This is just the studio shot which I assume was taken before the show.

This is not the first time Charlene is walking on a New York runway. And hunny, I'll bet my kidneys this ain't the last. I won't even be surprised if she's already booked for the European shows.

Photo: vogue.com

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Away From Home

Last night, the power went out at around 11:30. My laptop, phone and iPod were all low on battery charge. That's when it sank in.

Tonight's simple dinner by moi: this, plus buttered corn and rice.

I've been living on my own for almost a week now. It gets boring and even lonely at times. Don't get me wrong. I like this pseudo-independence, except doing the chores tires me out sometimes. And I do get tired talking to myself.

Meanwhile, our house (the one in the province), have been robbed yesterday. A lot of my mother's jewelry were taken. Thank God no one got hurt. This still worries me though. I remember how they always, always remind me to take good care of myself, eat on time and make sure the doors are locked, etc. Jeezus, I hope this never happens again.

In a few weeks, a good friend of mine will be moving in. As for now, I think I'll enjoy playing loud music in the middle of the night, having discussions with myself and walking around the house half naked.

After about 15 minutes, the electricity went back. Whew.


literarybulimia@gmail.com

Online Obsessions (No, not porn. Sorry.)

Hi., I'm James Homme and my online life is more exciting than my real one. Ok, not really. But lately I've been very active trying new things in the interwebs.

First, there's ooVoo which I use to talk with friends back home and abroad. It's so much better than Skype and YM so I love, love, love it. You can even record videos and take snapshots. I like to play around with it using YouCam. It cracks up my friends.

Ventrilo is like the geekier version of Skype that looks like mIRC (remember that?). It offers a good surround sound voice chat platform. I honestly don't know how it exactly works because you would need the server information, IP address and port number before connecting. This one I've only tried once last night upon the orders and recommendation of my favorite geek. Hahah..

Then of course there's World of Warcraft. Last night, I had fun killing boars, completing quests and just exploring different realms. The experience is enhanced by high definition visuals. Plus it helps to have a nice tour guide to show you the ropes. The world of night elves is awesome!

Last, but gawd, definitely not the least, Mariah's wet dream, the fagulous, Robot Unicorn Attack! The game is simple; don't hit any walls, edges or rocks nor fall over the cliffs so you can "make your dreams come true". This game is sick. It's deceptively sweet and childish when it's really morbid. It's like the gayer, sparkly version of Happy Tree Friends minus the gore. A warning though; the song is evil. Universal Motion Dancers isdatchu? It's like crack for the ears. I can hear each brain cell fizzling out while playing. (Yup, he's responsible for this too.)

Now excuse me while I chase my dreams go back to work.

Photos: hi-techreview.info, 8bitbot.com

literarybulimia@gmail.com

Time, Truths and Thinking

It's out. He knows. I was left with no choice. I had to tell him. He also now knows about this blog. I'm okay.

Everything's not crystal but we'll figure it out. I think. I hope.


literarybulimia@gmail.com

Use Somebody

Last night, I was playing the online game World of Warcraft. Yes, I know! I know! It's insane I know. The last time I got into a role playing game over the Internet was during the popularity of Counter Strike when I barely had pubes.

It's his fault. He made me download the 10-day trial version last week. Then last night, he talked me into actually playing it. It was pretty cool. He showed me around the online realm. To return the favor, I introduced him to Looklet. I thought, he was going to hate it. But my gawd, he now has more looks (and likes) than I do. He goes a little overboard with the layering and accessorizing but he was actually able to come up with more than decent looks.

On more serious matters, I really don't know where this is going. Just the other night, he told me he was giving his ex another chance. His phone got stolen that same day though and took it as a sign that it's just not meant to happen. You know I was having palpitations during that conversation.

After the WoW tour, I threw a fit about how he doesn't really want to bond in person. He explained by enumerating the things he has to accomplish and said I'll be the first guy he'll hang out with once he's free---but it can't be earlier than September 13. Wait, he meant this year, right?

He's really sweet. Then again, I may just be over-analyzing his words. It's so confusing.

I really want to see him soon so I can assess what we really have can have. I know we're very different. He's Warcraft, I'm Looklet. But somehow, we manage to meet somewhere in between and understand and learn from each other.

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

literarybulimia@gmail.com

24

Today's my day.

I really appreciate the countless Facebook and text messages, cheerful phone calls and touching wishes. I feel lucky.

Tonight, a few friends are coming over for dinner. It's unclear what I'll feed these people but we'll definitely do it non-bio style--disposable cups and all. I still have to drop by at the church first though. By the way, I'm not sure if he's serious about helping me clean up but I do hope we get to hang out soon.

Also, this morning, I already pre-enrolled online. Ohmigod I guess I'm really going back to school for real!

In the 24th year of my existence, I'm wishing for intoxicating love, great success, greater health and overwhelming happiness. That's all. Thank you and good evening Las Vegas!


literarybulimia@gmail.com