Sunday morning, I woke up at 7am to find 29 BBM invitations. It was so strange but I decided to go back to sleep anyway. An hour later, it reached 50 or so. By the time I got up from bed, around 10am, 71 invitations were waiting to get approved. I felt like a celebrity. Hah! It turned out my friend Luke, one of my very few gay friends, gave my info to some of his 500 BBM contacts. More invitations came later that day.
Close to a hundred men bothered to connect with me, no matter how meaningless---although some did chat me up. I approved all but only 5 of them remained in my contacts list. I deleted the rest and I'm thinking of deleting more.
There's also another guy who's been showing interest. He'd say hi almost everyday through BBM. I respond but with not much enthusiasm.
Oh, and remember that guy my friend Jeff is supposed to fix me up with? I saw his Facebook account and I'm no longer interested. Not my type.
What is going on? I don't know if I'm just not finding the right guys or I'm just being, uhm, too hard to please.
If it's really not that simple, how come others are able to jump from one relationship to the next?
You know, there are a lot of cute guys out there and a number of them are actually smart and even nice. But for me, it's not just about that. I have a confession. One of my most favorite things to do is browse through profiles on Planet Romeo (formerly Guys4Men). Oh, how fun it is to judge others!
It's such a shame to see a hot guy say things like "I'm a gay..." or write a slew of unnecessary and lame profanities which he probably thinks makes him the shit. And what about those who pose in their underwear like bad parodies of CK and Armani ads? Then there are those with that extra 'h' in their names. Mhike. Jhett. Jhay. Khent. What the fhuck.
Anyway, what I'm saying is, there's just always something wrong with these guys. I'm certainly far, far from perfect and a lot of people probably have a few choice words to say about me but I'm not striving for perfection whether for myself or for others. There are just guys, no matter how flawed, who make you feel like they're more than good enough for you. The question is, where the hell are they?
File this under 'Shit I Say When Everyone is Talking About the Month of Love'.
literarybulimia@gmail.com
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