M is for Missed and Missing

It’s been 2 weeks now since M and I last saw each other. He got back from Bicol over a week ago, and got sick, then got very busy and his little sister got hospitalized. He has two jobs so I understand he can barely squeeze in a good long nap. He called me twice since he got back but I wasn’t around on both occasions. The cosmos are keeping us away from each other. I know for a fact that he’s not the type who would send text messages constantly, a couple of messages in a day is already surprising.

It’s killing me. I would totally forget about his absence if not for the fact that I miss having him around. Even my sister asked me why he hasn’t been visiting lately!

I have been trying to meet up with him but I never had any luck. I’m not even sure anymore if I still want to have “The Talk” with him because honestly, I’m not sure if I still care. Sure I miss him but I don’t think I can put up with the absence if ever we do decide to move on further and be together.

Am I making any sense? I just need to know.

*Confusion*

The Carrie Bradshaw Effect

Do you remember that Sex and the City episode where Carrie finds herself in a severe financial crisis she can't even afford to ride a cab? I'm in the same situation right now. This is probably one of the Carrie Bradshaw moments I'd rather not have. I'd take "falling in Dior" any day.

I've confessed to my friends before that one day I will be homeless and will have nothing to eat but all the while wearing very nice clothes. Can you imagine a homeless person lying on the street with aviator sunglasses on clad in Zara, Topman and company? Homeless chic much?

Ugh. No, I can't let that happen until I wear Burberry (Prorsum or not), Dior Homme, Comme des Garcons, Lanvin and the rest of the gang. Until then, I just hate being poor.

Today, I was so bored I think it turned into depression. And it's not good when I'm bored because I tend to either "hang out" with strangers or spend. I wasn't in the mood to hook up with people I barely know so I decided to go out with friends.

I hung out with H and Ellese at Greenbelt. H and I hit up Greenbelt 5 first and my god do I love this place. While I'm still too poor to shop at the more high end stores, thanks to Zara, I won't be eating lunch for weeks.

It's big and black and it's another impulsive purchase. I will post pictures as soon as I take it out. For now, it's 4 AM and I need to catch some Zs. Good night.

Iloilo Intentions

Finally, the pictionary about my trip to Iloilo. I could have posted this days ago but I couldn't find time in between dealing with domestic repairs, sex with strangers and relationship drama. So let's get the show started, ok?

Say hello to one of my very good friends, Rica; smart, sassy and pretty. Don't be fooled by the seemingly innocent profile. This bitch is a walking show. She went to Roxas that day to visit me and I went with her back to Iloilo.

This is at Bigby's Iloilo with Shey, my regular pertner in whining, dining and all things crazy. Bitch has been single ever since the world began (remember that song? lol) so if you know anyone interested... Kidding.

I love Bigby's. The place is nice and the food is simple and good. Bigby's is located in Iloilo's prime nightlife hub Smallville.

Do I look used or what? Shey, on the other hand is working the jawline. She gave me that shirt which I wore immediately to dinner.

The Nos of Smallville

No Dirnking/Dating. Do not be cheap on the park/parking area side walk.

What reunion is complete without cam-whoring? Joenessa and Yala, we miss you. Please call/text soon.

Shey is wearing the uber fab sunglasses I gifted her while I'm wearing the shirt given by Rica earlier that day.

As you can see, my hotel room is quite crappy. Note to self: do not fall for promo rates and just because it includes buffet breakfast, it doesn't mean it's a good deal.

Amputated chic?

The next two pictures are completely off topic but whatev.

Meet my band singer, single mother bitch friend, Cassandra. The picture was taken outside our house when she came over to show off her bang (or is bangs?).

This one was taken outside the Roxas City Cathedral with some good friends from high school.

Anyway...

I only wanted to stay in Iloilo for a night but I had to extend my stay for another night at the last minute thanks to the following people.

Here's me and look with Myleen at the Globe shop in SM City, Iloilo.

Dinner with Luke, Alfie and Angelie; can you believe it's been 5 years?

Gawd I missed JD Bakeshop so much. I used to eat at JD practically everyday when I was still in college because the food is cheap and acceptably yummy, especially the pastries.

Apres JD, we walked to Coffee Break. What I love about Iloilo is the food is good and inexpensive and everything is nearby. You can practically walk around the city.

Say Hi to Angel, my ex. Yes, as in ex-girlfriend. There was this period in my life, when I wasn't single like I am right now and I was in a real relationship. Really.

So, uhm, how have you been? You have a boyfriend now right? Oh, cool. Me? Oh, I'm great, still single. It's fine. I don't know. I just haven't found "the one" yet, you know? lol

Here's me and Ema at Coffee Break. Can you please slow down on the cancer sticks? Ugh.

We went spent the rest of the night drinking at Freddy's at Sarabia and capped it off at Smallville.

Another reason why I had to stay another night in Iloilo is because I bumped into my former editor and teacher in college who invited me to speak in front of his class and talk about profile feature writing. I couldn't say no because it was a good opportunity for me to visit the university I graduated from and catch up with some friends. Never mind the fact that I didn't know what I would say in front of his class, I just wanted to go. So I did. I'm not sure if those students learned anything from me but it was surely fun.

After my little speaking stint, some friends from our college publication and I had brunch at Afrique's, one of Iloilo's best restaurants in my opinion.

That pretty much sums up my vacation. I don't really have eventful pictures taken in Roxas City. It was just all about good ol' family time at home involving mother's chili crabs and fresh fruit juice courtesy of my father's beloved Jack Lalanne juicer.

This picture was taken just right before I got off the plane in Manila when I got back. The pretty girl is Tintin, another friend from high school who is a member of the Mile High Club. Kidding. Little did I know I was up for some major shit (read: lost luggage) a few minutes this picture was taken.

And there you have it. I wish I can go home again soon. For now, I'm back to dealing with all things Manila.

P.S.

M and I haven't seen each other yet. He's been sick ever since he got back from his wake boarding trip. I hope we see each other soon so we can talk and set things straight. I want to know whether there is something between us or I should just move on and start seeing other guys. I hate the gray area.

Decisions Decisions

To fuck or not to fuck? That was the question.

As I was having my 3 PM lunch right after I hit the gym today, I received a text message from this guy I met in Boracay during my vacation. Well, we just exchanged messages, smiled and nodded at each other so I don't know if you can call that meeting up.

Anyway, he's in town and he wanted to meet up. His name's Rob and he owns a small restaurant in the island which also has a branch here in Manila.

Rob asked what I was up to. I told him I'm going to MOA just to look around and maybe do the groceries. Then the conversation went on...

Rob: Why don't you come to my condo in Makati instead?
Me: Are you trying to have sex with me?
Rob: Yeah, hope it's working.
Rob: Ooh, was that a bad reply?
Me: Well, I'm not sure.

Normally, I'd jump right in since he's pretty cute and I really had nothing important to do but take care of the bills. But the thing is, I have been seeing someone, aka M, for a month now. I didn't talk so much about it here because I was not sure where it's heading. Frankly, I still have no idea what will come of it.

M and I have been dating, cavorting and what not but we haven't really talked about our relationship, if ever there is one. He had made it clear though he's okay with me having sex with other people.

So what's the problem you ask? Well, I don't feel comfortable with the set-up which is why I sent a text message to M (who is currently on a wake boarding trip to Bicol) telling him about Rob.

Rob told me sex was not mandatory and I can always leave just as long as we meet up so I told him I'll drop by. M on other hand, was not responding and I figured he was still on the road because I couldn't contact him. I was determined not to give in until...

M: It's up to you. No problem with me. Tell me about it ha.

After receiving that message, I felt weak and down. So by the time I met up with Rob, I had let go of myself and put my guards down. I could have refused, but I didn't. Had M shown though the slightest signs that he didn't want me to do it, I wouldn't have met up with Rob at all. But it seemed he couldn't care less and that upsets me.

Now, I wonder if M was just testing me or something. Nonetheless, Rob was great while we were both high with libido. But once we got over it, it was just another meaningless romp.

After my early evening delight, I had my walk of shame to Greenbelt. I thought about what had happened over a caramel frappe and a cinnamon swirl while text messaging my good friend H non-stop.

I also told M about what I have done and he seems to remain fine with it. But I'm not. Am I just some guy he hangs out with and nothing more? Are we just friends with benefits? I hope not because I have enough of those. We really need to have "the talk" when he gets back. Until then, I have no idea what we are or if there's a "we" at all.

The Boracay Diaries (Part 3)

It was really hard saying goodbye to Boracay. But as they say, all good things must come to an end. The weather was very gloomy the morning we left, as if mourning due to our departure.

That's right. Stare all you can. That's all you can do anyway. lol

Gawd, the memories. I really had loads of fun. I always have whenever I'm in Boracay. This place casts a spell on you. It's a love affair.

Anyway, enough with the Bora experience. Let's talk about the stuff I wore so you can stop reading now if this kind of shit annoys you.

First night: Where's my gondola?
The hat is from Diego, the shirt is from Topman matched with chinos from Bill Blass plus Havaianas and vintage beads from my mom.

Second night: Repeat Offender
I loved the chinos so much I had to wear them again the following night with the same accessories paired with a Folded and Hung tank top.

Morning Swim: 80s Dancer
The tank top is from Bench. The trunks are from Philosophy. The bandanna is from Human and the sunnies are vintage, again, from my mom.

Sunset Dip: One Piece. Period.
The board shorts are from Mambo. I look fat. I know. It's a work in progress. Shut up.

That's all

D'Mall.

Thank god for Bora. 'Til next time.

Soon...

Iloilo Intentions

The Boracay Diaries (Part 2)

I Heart Cafe del Sol

This pictionary awfully overdue (thanks to my lost luggage ordeal) so let's get on with the show shall we?

First breakfast at the hotel - am I channeling Mary Kate or what? lol

The weather wasn't very consistent but good company beats bad weather any day.

This is the Greek salad I had at Hey Jude. I barely finished half of it. It's probably just me but I was *this* close to vomiting just before I decided to stop. At least now I know what not to order in a Mediterranean restaurant.

I had a chance to take in the stunning sights of Boracay during an afternoon walk. Loner much?

Photo sessions before dinner was mandatory of course.

For dinner, we hit up Gasthof for their famous ribs and other meats being the voracious carnivores that we are.

Then we went to MO2 at the Regency Hotel because I knew some members of the band playing. They even sang Happy Birthday to me! After that, we headed to Hey Jude for our DJ music fix. I was too busy dancing to take pictures though.

Can you tell I went boozing and dancing? Jammers is just beside Hey Jude. I just had to try one of their widely popular burgers. Yummers!

Jaws are the new cheek bones.

More narcissism and vacation pictures later...