TGIF

It's 2:30 AM and I just got from, uhm... a rendezvous. I've been up since early this (or yesterday) morning and needless to say, I had a full day. Woohoo!

Gym-check. Groceries-check. Fun dinner with cousins and Aunts-check. Diarrhea-check.

I've said this before but let me say it again; It's my rest day and rest is the last thing I'm getting. I mean, it was 12 AM and it's amazing how I still had the energy to go and hang out somewhere. It's all good though. I had a grand time today. Too bad I had to turn down my Aunt's invitation to visit Baguio tomorrow. :( Yup, all because of work. And to think I don't even like my job! Ugh.

Anyway, my muscles are aching and my eyes burn. That's it for now. Good night.

One Fine Day

While sitting comfortably within the security of the office, I read the latest weather report about typhoon Frank (international name Fengshen) thinking it doesn't matter as much to me since I can always take a cab. Right.After waiting a lifetime, I decided to share the cab with an officemate. Little did we know, the driver was another asshole. No surprise, these cab drivers are very consistent. The bastard refused to bring me to my place and decided to drop me off at my officemate's area. We argued for a while because I wasn't giving up without a fight. I swear to god I thought he was going to punch me. There was one moment when we looked each other in the eyes like we were about to turn into werewolves and tear each other apart. Major asshole.So, I was left there somewhere along Buendia/Gil Puyat, wet and a little hungry, uncertain how I'd get home. Manong pedicab driver came to the rescue and suggested I wait some other area where cabs pass a little more often. So I took his P30 advice and we braved the rain and flood.
After 10 minutes or so waiting for a cab, I gave up and took the jeepney. At this point I was soaked and really hungry. One FX ride and another pedicab later, I made it to my place in one piece. There was no electricity.

Just Another Friday

Today was interesting. I accomplished a lot a of errands. It's funny how 99% of the things I planned actually materialized even without having to note everything in my phone.

I paid the bills, prayed a little, went grocery shopping and bought a bunch of things for the household. I even bought a clothes iron!

That was only half of the day. The other half I spent with buddies H and Ellese. It's my first time to go to Trinoma and I love it. Those Ayalas really know how to make a good mall.

While at the award-winning supermarket, I saw someone I slept with months ago. He looked better. He clearly recognized me as he was also staring at me when we walked past each other. We exchanged text messages after that. It was a little awkward. What do you do when you see some guy whose last name you don't even know but had sex with before?

Anyway, I really hope my credit card application gets approved already. I am dying to max it out.

Could this post be more boring? Whatev. I'm so tired from all the walking.

I miss home.

I think I just got severely depressed again. Gawd, I hate being poor. Fine, I hate not being rich enough.

I am currently sharing a 2-bedroom condo unit with my sister. The place is owned by a relative and we’re renting the place. To lessen our expenses, we’re getting a new housemate much to my skepticism. I’m very territorial.

You see, I’ve had my own share of unfortunate experiences with housemates in the last year and I do not wish for more. In fact, one of them still owes me a couple of thousand pesos—pay up asshole! I also very much value my privacy and personal space. If I can have it my way, I would really prefer to have the entire place to my sister and myself and not have to deal with the inconveniences of living with strangers. However, sister dearest is not earning so much yet since she’s still on training and I on the other hand, well, I’m not exactly raking in the cashola. I pay for the bills, the cleaning lady and half of the rent, while my parents cover the other half which is not an ideal setting.

My mom and I occasionally talk about our dream houses and other thoughts of real estate grandeur. The other night, we were on it again. She even told me to look around for nice and reasonably priced condominium units as she has cut out a few ads from the dailies. I thought this was very funny especially since she would end the conversation saying, “If only I’d win the lottery.” Hahahah…

I did look around—online and through some print ads I myself kept. I am such a sucker for things to spend money on. Like most people however, the things I intend to buy easily out-value the money I actually have.

I applied for a credit card the other day, so there’s a great chance I’ll be six feet under burning in credit hell by the time I get my first billing statement. Hello, I went straight to the mall right after I passed my application and created a mental list of things to buy, so go figure.

Anyway, jeez, property is so expensivo and I certainly know why.

This housemate better not be a bitch. Otherwise, she can kiss the ground 3 seconds after I push her ass off the 26^th floor.

Mr. Quickie

I think I just had the quickest quickie. It gives the cliche "everything happened so fast" a new meaning. Seriously, I think he left skid marks on my dick. And he couldn't have jumped out of the bed any faster than 3 seconds after blowing his jizzle manizzle.

Yes. I gave in to it again. I failed! I failed! The whore in me prevailed. (Hey that rhymes!)

Although he let me know that he doesn't have much time and needs to be somewhere else, I got a bit surprised at how he acted. On his way out, he even asked me if I've watched the Sex and the City movie. I said yes and he was like, "Narnia?" while opening the door.

"No," I responded.

Then he told me we can watch it on Friday. By this point, he was walking halfway out the door and I don't think he even heard me say text me. WTF?!

It's like he's on some sort of game show where he needs to finish an obstacle course and the final challenge is to sleep with me, after which utter the magic words "let's watch a movie Friday night" in the fastest way humanly possible. Think 'The Amazing Race XXX Edition.'

Is this how busy people have become? Gawd.

Am I being punk'd?

The Hunt

"Ano trip mo?"

In a time when communication is at its peak and a hook-up (however you want to interpret that) is just a few clicks away, how can anyone, sitting in the middle of the city, among millions of its dwellers, feel so alone? Is it because each one of us is so available and reachable that we tend to undermine the presence of who we currently have in our bed thinking that the next guy is a better catch? Are we relying too much on the possibility, that there's always someone better on the loose?

I am slightly torn between the meaning of sex. A part of me feels that it is merely a release, a form of escapism, and nothing but a deed to fulfill worldly needs with no emotional attachment whatsoever. On the other hand, I feel like sex demands passion, intimacy and chemistry, not necessarily love, but perhaps different levels of infatuation or a temporary liking towards each other. Libido and love - how very confusing.

"Got face pics/cam?"

I don't really watch the bachelor but I chance upon it once in a while. The season finale of the one where the Texan bachelor (Brad?) didn't choose any of the ladies, was on the tube minutes ago. I have to admit that I felt delighted in the fact that these ladies were turned down by a guy whom they claim they have fallen in love for on national TV. It makes it more real and believable. I think it is very brave of the guy to do such a difficult endeavor. Then it dawned on me. If these straight people who are clearly more socially acceptable (or at least on TV) and are less intriguing had to be in a reality show just to find love and soon fail, then what happens to the gay ones? How many people do we have to sleep with to finally find the one?

"Top or bottom?"

Love is clearly elusive. I mean, we had to make reality shows just to cater to all these people desperate enough to hunt for it in front of the whole world. And how about this? I'm not even sure why I'm talking about this right now. Just a couple of years ago I was determined to be single for life and sleep with half of the people I meet. But no, he had to come along.

"Do you have a place?"

He was in perfect timing, and his words were right on. I was young and vulnerable. The distance was a challenge but it didn't stop us. It went on for a year and half. Some people may think it's pathetic but my phone has never been so precious. When you talk to someone for that long each day of your life, shared parts of yourselves no one else has ever known, and all this suddenly stops, what do you do? No more hours of talking on the phone, no more non-stop messaging, no more exchanging of gifts.

"Wanna meet up now?"

But it's been a long time. I miss him but not in the way I used to long for him.

I'm no gigolo but god knows I'm no angel either. I've slept around; in risky public places and in the privacy of hotel rooms. I don't regret anything. I love the fact that I was brave enough to come out and get to know this side of myself. But as I have expressed a million times before, I think I'm ready to once again fall, be foolish and love every minute of it.

As a cheesy text message goes "I have longed to be free and fly, but deep inside, I long to be held and be captive in the arms of the one I love." Err, something like that.

"I'll be there in 3o minutes."

Carnal satisfaction is beautiful, but how many meaningless sex and unrequited affection should I encounter until I find someone who will not be just another orgasm, who will bother to stay and have an actual conversation? Am I sleeping my way to love? Or maybe away from it?

National Bureau of Idiots

I hate, no, I despise government offices. Seriously, Madam Prezzy are you fucking reading this?

I went to the National Bureau of Investigation office this morning straight from a graveyard shift to get my cousin's clearance form whatever. She's in Dubai so I'm doing her a favor. That was my third trip there. After 2 failed attempts because of 1.) smudgy thumb marks, and 2.) lack of consul's seal, I was finally able to process the damn paper.

On my second trip to this part of hell, I thought I should be early to avoid the crowd. I arrived there about a quarter before 8 only to find this long line of people who obviously arrived earlier than I did. The counters didn't open until almost 9. Awesome.

I must love my cousin very much because I managed to brave Quiapo in the middle of the day amidst the heavy transportation and people traffic not minding the possibility of getting mugged.

You see, the NBI office is not exactly nestled in a metropolitan paradise. The place itself doesn't look like a decent government office. It's a 3-level space with what seems to be an indoor basketball court as a lobby/waiting area. It's definitely too small for the crowd that mobs this place everyday. The ventilation is also very poor. I wonder where the P20 (per visit) maintenance fee goes.

Dont't even get me started with the people there. What is up with these grouchy government employees? Jeezes, these bitches need to fucking cool down.

There's this old lady bitch in the 6th floor whose job is to check the application form and make sure each detail is accurate; she's the same person who disapproved the first 2 applications and I think she gave me a trauma. She's not very nice. She also misspelled my name even after I gave her my ID.

And then there's this cleavage-showing cougar assigned in Step 3 who fucking barked at me in front of so many people when I didn't get what she was saying. That was so embarrassing. I wish she had instructed me in a nicer manner. I wanted to smack her in the face. If only I didn't need anything from her.

Mga Gagah!

I'm so glad I'm finally accomplishing this errand. Just one more trip tomorrow and hopefully I'll be getting out of that place with cousin's clearance in tow.

Carried Away

So I went to see the Sex and the City movie last night with me, myself and moi, out all alone on a Friday night, lost amidst a crowd of both high-brow and middle class scenesters all of whom in the company of colleagues, friends and family.

Don't get me wrong, I love people watching, especially in a place like Greenbelt. To quote this girl who passed in front of me "Andaming sosyal!" Hahahah...

But enough about me. I had goosebumps when the movie started. I couldn't believe it's actually happening.

"The day has come. It's actually here," I thought. It really is amazing.

I know there had been negative reviews about the movie. I have to admit that there were some parts when I thought the plot stayed stagnant. Some scenes were also a little predictable. But who cares? It's SATC. I think fans, such as myself, are very lucky that this project even materialized.

For months, I have been avoiding spoilers in all the gossip sights I frequent and I'm glad I did. It's no Oscar material (and I don't think the producers were aiming for that either) but it's undeniable that the film is pretty damn entertaining, fun and exciting which are what a decent movie should be.

It was really an experience. I thought it would be perfect to watch it with friends but watching it alone wasn't so bad after all. Seriously, I smiled and laughed heartily not only because there was something funny but because of the fact that I'm finally seeing Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte on the big screen.

Ultimately, I love the film because it is a celebration of a TV series that embodied the essence of friends, freedom, sex and love. Something that had inspired the avid followers of this HBO production.

I don't know about you but I think Sex and the City is truly legendary. It was definitely the end of an era when the series concluded but the memory, values and fashion will remain forever.

P.S.
I hate my bladder. I missed about 5 minutes of the movie when I had to go the men's room. There comes a point when you just can't hold it in anymore you know.

I know he will never get to read this but I want to give a shout-out to my friend Harry who was kind enough to send me a complete DVD collection of SATC about 2 years ago when I was still in college. Yes it's pirated but whatever.

Sex, The City and Me

Greetings from Greenbelt Makati!

Remember how much I want to see the Sex and the City movie and attend some sort of special premiere event or something? Well, there was a special screening 2 nights ago and I missed it because I had work. Ugh.

Since I'm incredibly free tonight and since I'll be out of town tomorrow, I figured I should take advantage of the time I have. Sadly though, I seem to be the only one available tonight. Nobody, not even the names on the bottom of my list is freakin' free. WTF?! That or they just really don't want to go with me. Either way, "fuck them" I thought. So here I am. Out and all alone on a Friday night . Social suicide much?

I got here a little over 10 PM. I wanted to catch the 10:50 PM screening but it's all sold out. I'm not surprised. I got the last full show ticket for 12 AM so I have almost 2 hours to kill. I think I've had enough people (and outfit) watching so I decided to wait in this Internet lounge.

This movie better not suck.

Sleeplessness

Yesterday, I got to thinking about the last time I cried. As far as I can remember, I think that was this December or November because of family troubles. My parents had this huge disagreement and I couldn't do anything about it but cry over the phone while talking to each of them since we were miles apart.

I figured it's been a while since I've actually snapped like that. Regretfully, I felt the need to cry like crazy yesterday because of issues I've been having with work, my life and myself. The fact that my mind was racing when I was supposed to be sleeping certainly made everything worse.

I am not happy with work. I don't think my life is going towards the direction I am aiming for. I feel like I'm not achieving enough. I also happen to think that all these result to me being vulnerable and impatient romance-wise. I'm not sure but in a way, I'm thinking being in a romantic relationship would make everything better, which can be considered a classic case of escapism.

I have no idea where to go from here. I feel like I should change but I'm not sure about it either. It's truly very confusing and undoubtedly very difficult to deal with. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being sick of it. I don't even know how to express my situation in words. It's far too complicated.

How do I pick up the pieces and move on? Until when can I keep a straight, if not smiling, face and conceal everything? I have expressed these feelings with friends but I'd always end the paragraph with a joke so they won't have to carry my own baggage of negative emotions.

*Sigh*

I really am very tired. I need to get away so badly. I need to be in touch with myself again and the person I really want to become. Some soul-searching perhaps?

Anyway, I didn't shed a single tear. But I did end up tossing and turning in bed for a good 2 hours until I finally drifted away.

Another One-Man Date

Gym - Check
Bank - Check
Church - Check (Okay, not really church. it's in a mall but it's still a place of worship.)
Haircut- Check

Today was productive. After weeks of procrastination, I finally got my ass back to the gym. I'm not a really a big fan of working out but it's something I have to do to blow off some steam and to healthy. I's personally prefer dance as a form of exercise but that's something I cannot commit to as of the moment so I might as well make use of the free gym here.Like the usual, I took my new flip-flops for a spin and went around this side of the town all alone. Yup, another date with myself. Kind of pathetic but I relieve myself by likening it to that Sex and The City episode where Carrie assumes that she's dating the city every time she goes out alone. Hahahah... I guess that makes Manila my date then.

Nothing really spectacular about today but I'm so glad I got an extra day off from work yesterday. After over a year in the company, one of my Paid Time Off applications finally got approved. It's just one day I know but believe me, in our company, this is reason enough to celebrate.

Anyway, I don't have a good picture of myself with my much shorter hair yet. I am yet to decide whether I like it or not. Oh well, let's see.

Shopping: In Sickness or In Health

Gloomy Friday

Greetings from the office I badly want to get out of.

Still sick here. Can you believe this weather? Ugh. I’m all for winds and clouds but a typhoon is way too much. The perfect weather for me is 30% sunlight, 70% clouds with mild to strong winds and zero rain, drizzling, moisture whatsoever. This is the perfect opportunity to wear jackets, scarves, hats, sunglasses and what-have-you altogether.

Speaking of the weather, it might be the reason why I still have this flu. It sucks because I had my rest days Thursday and Friday and yet rest is the last thing I had.

Right after my shift Thursday morning, my cousin and I went to Divisoria. It was fun but very exhausting. I would have bought tons of stuff if I were a girl but shopping for guy clothes at Divi is a lot harder since there’s not much variety. Anyhow, I settled for 2 mid-length shorts, one of which some fashyon people call smart shorts and I love them. The fit and length are perfect. These are the ones with no side pockets which make them look less casual and more chic if I may say so. Got it for P600 which I know is a little pricey for a Divi buy but it is way more affordable than the ones in malls. The other one is the more, I would say passé checked cargo short pants which I got for P330. I think it’s a steal.

Friday, I spent half of the day dragging myself around the condo. I was still feeling terrible then and our busted TV made it worse. Thank god for DSL and our crappy laptop which kept me pre-occupied until I realized being idle will not make me feel better and will just rather let me entertain bullcrap which seems to be a staple in my daily thoughts.

So I took a bath and arranged to meet up with a good friend at Mall of Asia at 4 PM. I wore the smart shorts I got from Divi which proved to be indeed a smart choice especially paired with my ancient Havaianas Top since it was raining.

MOA here I come. This portion is brought to you by Chocquik.

Anywayyyy, it was already 4:30 when I got there and I haven’t even had lunch by then so I went to Sbarro for some big ass pizza and pasta. I like this place a lot because of the simplicity of the food, the big servings and the unpretentious ambiance.

My friend arrived a little over 5 and bitch brought company! I couldn’t stand it. She brought her boyfriend with her and another female friend. WTF?! I have trouble mingling with new acquaintances you see and I was not in the mood to put my best foot forward and pacify the shit I usually say to my good friends. Gawd. I think I’m a generally nice person really but it’s just not very obvious most of the time.

It’s a good thing my friend managed to get his boytoy and her friend to wander around separately so we could comfortably talk about unrated stuff and share private jokes. I initially wanted to get a haircut but I got too tired for that. I finally bought a much needed new pair of flip-flops and a lip balm though so yay to that. I guess it was a pretty productive trip to the mall huh since I also did a little grocery shopping to cap it off.

I didn’t feel any better physically by the time I got home but a slight retail therapy does wonders to the heart and mind. There goes half of the rent.

P.S.

MedRep guy is still MIA. I never liked deleting numbers from my phone but I might need to do that soon. Oh well.

Update: Breaking News: Not even 30 minutes after posting this, MedRep Guy sent a message. 'Mornin!' he said.

:)

What the hell is that? It's not even a proper greeting. Whatever.

Sniff Sniff

I'm sick in more ways than one.

This runny nose with a free-flowing uhm... juice is definitely not making things better at work. I feel a little feverish right now and I sense an impending sore throat. Ugh. I hate being sick.

Anyway, I met up with MedRep guy the other day --although he says he's more of a Medical Specialist now since he's a notch higher than the regular representatives, whatev. I invited him over and we talked for a while. It was quite strange. It's the first time we've seen each other and we've only known of each other's existence for less than a week then, and now he's sitting in our living room talking about work, family and his educational background while sipping on his frapp. It's definitely refreshing and nice, unless of course he was lying all the fucking time but I highly doubt it.

He was very polite and seemingly honest although a little too serious. He was shaking and uneasy so I asked him, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he responded and asked if I had a ciggie around. I was a little disappointed at this point. A smoker?! Ugh.

This is how, the rest of the conversation wen:

"You're shaking, are you sure you're okay? Do you really NEED to smoke right now? Are you like, craving for it?"

"Yes, can we go down and get a pack?"

"Are you sure that's the only reason why you're shaking?"

*Mentally smirking*

"I'm also a little anxious"

Hahahahah...

"Are you a chain smoker?"

"No. But I haven't smoked in a day and a half."

"Doesn't that make you a chain smoker already since you smoke everyday?"

"No, a chain smoker gets to another stick even before finishing the previous one. I'm not like that."

I still can't decide which one is worse, the chain smoker or his kind who finishes every bit of the cancer sticks. And by the way, he also told me he burns ten sticks a day. WTF?! Those lips had me fooled.

After convincing me to go with him buy a pack of his nicotine fix at the ground floor and after he finished a stick of Marlboro Lights, which was followed by mint gum that I demanded, we went on to do something else. The thing is, we still talked about a lot of stuff after that. Usually, it's like wham, bam, goodbye sam! End of story. Bye. Period. But not this one.

He took a bath, while I cleaned up the crime scene. Then I ate pan de sal with peanut butter in my torn t-shirt and shorts while he's at the dining table telling me how tamad I am which apparently gave him a headache since he asked for a Biogesic. We talked about random topics from work to independent living and stuff. Very sweet setting if you ask me until reality sets in.

He had to leave a couple of minutes after that since he had work and his day was just about to start. I, on the other hand, was itching for a shower and go to bed. I went with him to the parking area as he had requested and got back to my place when he drove off.

That was 2 days ago. The next thing I heard from him is "mornin" and that's after I sent my own morning greeting. How cold right? This was yesterday.

Am I expecting too much again? I'm surely not anticipating marriage but a second rendezvous would be good. Maybe dinner?

Ugh.

I dunno anymore. I sound so foolish, I know.

Next Attraction: A Cosmopolitan Please!

OMFG! I cannot wait! Now this movie better not suck! I can hardly deal with the fact the Fergie totally murdered the original instrumental intro of the series which is sprinkled on the movie’s theme song Labels or Love; so the big screen version better at least live up to the wildly phenomenal TV candy that SATC was! I’m pretty sure there would be some sort of special screening, premiere brouhaha somewhere around the metro for this hot flick and I am dying to come (no pun intended)! I’m counting the days! And yes, each sentence should end with an exclamation point!

Ugh. Please.

Gawd, I miss writing entries from the office. The corporate Nazis have had their panties up in a bunch lately so they’ve been keeping an eye on everybody very closely. My supervisor alone has been paranoid like there’s an impending war or something. Bad vibes. Now I understand his concerns but Jezus Christ somebody needs to take a chill pill.

I swear to god I am dying to get out of this company. As soon as I get a considerably good deal in another line of work (something I actually like), I’ll be scramming out of here like my bum was on fire. I intend to go home to the provs first though before diving into my new career. Shit I just jinxed that.

Again, I need a break, yeah and a serious relationship too. You see I actually just realized that my love/sex/dating life, as I have observed, is directly proportional to my career. What I have now is something I settle for, for the meantime until the right one comes along. Until my big break is around, these are the things I have to suck in (no pun intended) for now while trying to survive. The thing is what if that time never comes? What if this big break (whether for my career or romance) doesn’t exist at all? What if I am destined to be an underpaid, overworked (?), sleep-deprived, socially challenged single guy who occasionally sleeps around and will never have a serious romantic partner?!

OMFG.

Well, it’s simple actually. That just basically means I’m doomed, fucked (in a bad way), in deep shit and might as well just give it up and slit my wrist.

Hmm… I should write these entries more often when I’m not so pessimistic, just like now. I’m serious, this is about as positive as I can get.

Surprise Surprise

Well, what do you know. Exactly a week ago, as detailed in my last post, I went out with my good friend and had a chanced meeting with an accidental date. We had a good time, had a few drinks, and canoodled at the back of a cab (with my sorta-kinda-date-but-not-really not with my friend, eww).

Anyway, we kept in touch for a while the past week and intended to meet up again. Ugh. I don't even want to get into the nonsensical details. To cut to the chase, I got too excited again, expected too much and shit. Although, to be honest, I think I played my cards well enough so I don't really beat myself up about it. Hello, we didn't sleep together the first time we met. We just kissed and groped. We were holding back you know.

Now it's obviously not going anywhere else though. So before I do something more stupid and go on a bored-text romp, I deleted his number from my phone after 2 days of not hearing from him. Erased, gone, zero, bye.

Gawd, I am so pissed. I had imagined I would be on a second date tonight. I can't believe I actually entertained the thought that this is the serious relationship I've been waiting for. Jeez. Oh well, I still had a great time last week, nothing changes that.

Moving on. Next please.

Spicy Fingers

Hi, just woke up here. Last night, or this morning rather, was zo much fun. Another good friend and I went to Greenbelt and somewhere else.

Of course I had to pick out her out fit because bitch initially wanted to wear this psychedelic empire cut top with polka-dot shoes and a granny bag. WTF?!

Anyway, Cassy and I hit up Spicy Fingers at Greenbelt 2 because she wanted a bar with a band. She's a bit of a singer who also used to be the front bitch of a band in our hometown you see. The place, I believe, is relatively new and it was fun enough for a Sunday. The band was also very entertaining and good-looking.
I sent a message to three people asking if they were around the area and well what do you know, one of them was about to go to Greenbelt 3.

To the cut the story short, we met up and he joined us. It was great having some sort of a casual date with someone you've met for the first time together with a long-time buddy. At about 3 AM, we decided to go somewhere. We just dropped off my sort-of-but-not-really date at his office and Cassy and I went our way to Malate to check out this place. Thank god Cassy took the front seat of the cab, otherwise my sort-of-but-not-really date didn't get a chance to have our "moment" at the backseat. Now that's what I call a good friend.

So we went to this bar... oh fuck it, it's Che Lu (?), not really sure, it's my first time to be in a bar full of guys who hit on other guys. I was like a virgin if you want to put it like that. It was ok, nobody got oral services at the comfort room or anything like that. Cassy said a lot of the guys there were checking me out but I'm not sure I believe her. She probably was just being a good friend. Whatev.

At 4:30 AM, we decided to call it a night. We grabbed some burgers and went to my place. She had to leave very early since she has a flight to catch this morning. Bitch is going home and I am sooo jealous much. I want to go home too and take a break. Jeez.

I wonder if that date will lead to something else. Well, I'm sure it could've led to something indeed if we were alone but I don't want to take that direction anymore. Oh well, let's see.

Here's Cassy and I being fat and half drunk. Good times.

Down, down, down, down...

I am so fucking down right. now I'm so down not even a new episode of ANTM or a hook-up can lift me up. Seriously, there's so much negative energy in me I can barely handle it.

Work is beyond awful, I have a non-existent love life and I can't even go shopping for some retail therapy or have time to meet up with friends again and bond. The first two reasons are the major facts that bother me the most though. I desperately need a new job and get myself in a serious relationship. I have stayed in this damn company longer than planned and I've been single for the longest time. It's about time, really.

I badly need a vacation. I want a new job and go on vacation alone.

Boracay, words cannot express how much I long for you.

Sigh.

Breaking News: Work Sucks

Here it is again. It's one of those days, no, weeks, when I'm just dragging myself to the office just so I can say that i'm actually doing something with my life, and of course so I don't get any deductions from my meager salary. I hate it.

I believe I'm a very passionate person. I also happen to believe that I am too creative for this line of work. It just doesn't do so much for me except pay the rent. I want to be able to make use of my talent or skills and do what I actually want to do. Hell, if it wasn't for the roof above my head, the food that I eat and the clothes on my back, I'd be volunteering somewhere, then dancing and going to the gym everyday, and focus on freelance journalism, and maybe get involved, in one way or another, in the fashion industry or something. I want to be able to cultivate my skills and work on what I have--self-improvement basically.

I hate work right now because in the first place, I didn't really intend to last this long in the company. I also do not very much agree with the way management has been handling everything. I think they put on too much pressure on us agents. It's exhausting. On the other hand, maybe it's just me. It is very hard when you're forced to do something when you'd rather do something else. Nonetheless, work sucks, I hate it. I want to get out. Period.

Don't get me wrong though. I have been looking for another job. No luck so far though. Ugh.

Gawd, I'd kill to be in advertising, public relations or lifestyle journalism right now.

Zoo Holiday

Last Monday was so much fun. It was a holiday so my sister and I visited our cousins and Aunt who is actually going through a rough time. God bless her.

We went to Harrison Plaza , the first ever mall in the Philippines, which is a stone's throw away from where I live, for some work my Aunt needed to be done. It was taking her a long time to finish her business so my cousins and I decided to visit Manila Zoo which is just a short stroll from the mall.

The zoo itself is nothing really spectacular. Sure, we had a few laughs over the deers humping each other and some of the animals were quite fascinating. (Like the zebra that would make such a nice rug, the same with the cute tiger hiding in the man-made cave. The elephant stunk but still cute. Although I feel really sorry for the poor thing. The deers would have been boring but they were copulating in front of everybody so that was entertaining, while the crocs are scary and would be nice accessories.) But the ultimate, ultimate experience occurred when we were about to get out of the place.

When I realized what this huddle of people was all about, I was like, "Oh shit, that snake is fucking humongous and it's all out in the open for paid photo ops!" Talk about saying, or rather thinking, the obvious.

So yeah, we were just gawking at these people who were having their pictures taken while a gigantic live python is wrapped around their bodies and then it's like suddenly, all four of us had this common thought bubble above our heads and we went for the kill.

For a P100, we had a short pictorial with not one but two pythons--one of them was the smaller yellow albino kind. I was really scared at first but it all went fine. Nobody got bit or got constricted by the reptiles or anything like that. My sister did get into a bitch fight with some random woman though while waiting for the photos. Hah! Love that.

I know it's so freaking anti-climactic that I'm raving about it but I actually don't have the picture of us with the snakes but you see we don't have a soft copy of it. But I'll post it as soon we scan the precious thing.

We then went back to Harrison, laughed, walked, ate, yaddi yadda, yadda, and basically just had a good time. I loved it. It was such a fun day. Although, my Aunt didn't go with us to the zoo, I'm pretty sure she also enjoyed the day. It was nice we all took time and bonded together and had a blast.

Gawd I love holidays.