Word Vomit + Pictionary

I'm sick of thinking about my face. he whole day I'e been ranting about how acne is ruining my life. It's like an ad Proactiv or something. Only I don't use Proactiv.

Anyway, enough with that skin crap.

Today, I braved the mall with my sibling and some kids hoping someone I know won't see me in that condition. We ate at Jollibee. And voila, two of my friends came there too. But whatever. It was okay. We talked stuff involving graduation and careers for a short while. I hated how this one friend of mine was beng so friggin' cocky about how she's going to go abroad. One plans to go to New York and the other to London. I got annoyed so I was like, "You're going to wash people's asses." Everybody wants to be a nurse these days. And everybody wants to go out of the third world and work somewhere where politicians are less corrupt, the weather is colder and Guess clothing is cheap.

(Photo taken three weeks ago at a cousin's place.)

Last night, I talked to two of my friends /classmates about post-graduation plans. The three of us want to go to Manila and work there and maybe even live together. So I phoned them and discussed the possibilities. My second phone call, which I intended to be about careers and jobs and our little rendezvous tomorrow to work on a project led to more stuff. It was crazy. We somehow came to chat about dates, dream habitats, our and some people's sex life, monkeys, and other stuff. I'm telling you, that was verbal diarrhea right there. And guess how long our supposedly short chit chat lasted. Five juicy hours! Seriously, it was just uncontrollable. Two motor mouths spilling the dirt on other people. Hahahahah... It was fun. I got off the phone at about to 2 AM. Oh well, the last time I talked to somone over the phone for over an hour was with that damn heartbreaker from the bowels of hell. :)

Speaking of matters of the heart, it's Valentine's season and as usual, I don't have a date. Nada. Will this Wednesday be any different and change the course of history? I doubt it. But what the hell. What comes, comes.

I have time so here's some random tidbits:

The gold shoes I bought off a part of the garage sale money. Nice? No? Whatever. It's cheap anyway.

Some snapshots I took on a boring afternoon. No that's not a hard-on.

Stuff for photography/photojournalism class:

That's all for now. Gotta go. Nighters.

Hopeless

R.I.P.

My world is crashing down. It's the end. It's really getting worse. But before anything else, let me just say that it's so sad what happened to Anna Nicole Smith. So tragic. She did a Marilyn Monroe. How shocking. It's beautifully sad however.

Back to me...

I'm dying. It's horrible. I abhore myself. My skin is absolutely hell. It's like a thousand bees attcked me on the face. It's that bad. Ugh. I'm internally falling apart. Seriously. I can't even look in the mirror without feeling like shit.

I went to my skin doctor two days ago. I had a gel peel and some facial cleaning. And you know what happens after a cleaning. Gawd. My face is just so... so... bad and awful. I have the meds and all but I just can't go0 out in public looking like this. E-E-W would best describe my condition. Why wasn't I born a hot, gorgeous, perfectly awesome filthy rich billionaire? Jeez.

That's great, I'm poor AND ugly. Gawd. And I thought I was just close to that. Now I think it's worse. This is why I can't wait to get a well-paying job and get myself a better face and body. Seriously.

By now, you must think that I'm poor, ugly AND stupid. Whatever. That will not make my bad skin any better will it? I don't think so.

I need some serious help here.

God help me.

Like pronto.

After School

Gawd, theese past days have been quite interesting. I've been contemplating on what I'm gonna do after graduation. My thesis is on it's way, or so I like to think. It's ready for the first editing. I plan to print it out this weekend and pass it next week.

Anyway, I've been freaking out on what I'm gonna make of myself after studying. I want a glamorous, nice paying career dammit! A magazine personnel perhaps? Hello fashion editors! A dedicated assistant here. Just give a handsome salary and free clothes stuff and all, and I'll take care care of your shit. I wanna go to pictorials, parties and stuff like that.

Hahahahah... How generic. I know. It's shitty but I really wanna try working in a fashion/lifestyle magazine.

So far, I've been to 2 job fairs. Can you believe it? I can. The turn-outs have been quite well. I have interviews and callbacks and exams in schedule. It's been fun going to those things. People trying to look "corporate," speaking eloquently (or trying at least), and putting your best self out there with your resume in tow. I personally find it entertaining mentally scrutinizing everyone's outfits however.

Anyway, school is still on so snap back to reality. I have stuff to deal with so ciao.

Some Things

I can't think right now considering i'm in a cafe where they charge an arm, legs, and balls for a few minutes of Internet use.

I'm here in the mall to buy a notebook.

Might have Chinese for dinner.

WTF am I saying? Anyway, last week has been really productiv. I hope I'll be able to accomplish more school chores in the next coupls of days.

Graduation is nearing and the pressure to have a decent career is lurking. Seriously. I'm very concerned. So are my folks.

I gotta go. I'm waiting for a friend.

Byers.

Random Rants

I know. I have not updated in a long while. Okay, let's get it rollin'

The Pageant
I didn't win the friggin' pageant but I got 5th place (out of 11 guys). I'm not conceited, I'm just being honest, but I deserve more than just 5th place. Seriously, you can ask everyone who watched the show. Anway, it's done and over with so I'm glad I can live my life again now.

Gold Shoes
Remember the earnings I got from the garage sale? I spent a part of it on a pair gold shoes.

School Bull
Classes are back and I'm not liking it. There's a kilometer-long list of things I have to do. Responsibilities! Responsibilities! Ugh. I wanna graduate already dammit.

Something
I've been dry for weeks. Ugh.

But...

Hahahahahahahah...

That's fucking hot.

Period.

Gotta go. I have to piss and I have to see my skin doctor. Ciao.

They're Out

The photos came out today. Yes, including the ones where we're our in swimwear. Ugh.

Classmates say they're ok. Some say they're actually good. They're okay.

So busy. Don't know which to do first. Be back soon.

Wish me luck. Nightie.

My Video-Photo Shoot

Had a video-photo shoot yeaterday in this bumfucked ranch in the middle of nowhere.

We were literally wet cowboys and cowgirls. Fuck the rain. It totally ruined everything. By the way, the guys had to wear trunks, including moi. Ugh. I'm praying that my gut sticking out won't be too obvious in the photos. Blame it on the organizers, we posed in our skimpies right after we had lunch!

Fuck it. I don't even know what to think anymore. I'm not ambitioning to look exceptionally dashing in the pictures, I just don't wanna look horrible and put myself absolute disgrace.

Ugh. I'm fucking sick of this whole thing. If only I can, I'd quit this early.

Byers.

Dior Homme

I've been salivating.

I want Dior Homme dammit. I hate it that I'm so poor and I can't afford Dior YET. Ugh. When will I ever have enough money for shopping?

My new year wish list courtesy of Dior in eluxury.com:

Sweet, sweet things huh? Dior Homme= Testosterone chic.

Enough dreaming. Gotta hit the sack.

Nighters.

Pressure, Stress and All...

I'm doing my best to tread the path towards self improvement.

Translation: I exercised a bit then loaded up carbs. Ate at Joillibee; cheeseburger, chicken, fries and coke. For dinner, I had fish, mashed potatoes with buttered corn and Nesvita. I also had espresso. I know. It's crazy. I was expecting Nesvita (high-fiber drink) to induce diarrhea but it didn't. The last and first time I tried that, I shit was shooting out me ass five times in a day. I don't know what happened this time.

I bought black trunks today. Then I spoke to someone this evening and told me that the guidelines indicate "swimming shorts". Great. Sometimes, you just can't rely on some people to relay correct information. Whatever.

I've been preparing my cowboy number today. I lack the boots though but i'm trying to put everything together. This whole Mr. Something is stressing me out. Gawd. As if I don't have enough things to worry about. I know whining isn't going to solve it. Yeah, yeah... But you know. It sucks 'coz there's too much pressure on me at the moment. There's just a gazillion things to do and I don't know where to start.

Maybe I'll start with dozing off. Gotta wake up early tomorrow.

Signing off.

Ciao.

Black Trunks

There's this pageant I HAD to join a few months ago, and then I won. Now I have to represent the whole college in the university level. Then there's this video shoot they told me about earlier for the contest and I was told to bring trunks. Black swiming trunks.

I'm so fucked.

As I've mentioned before, I have been pigging out in the last couple of days. Duh, it was the holidays. That's a valid excuse to eat like a hog and then sleep and act like a sloth and then eat again. Binge eat I mean, to be exact. Ham, cake, steak, chicken, carbs, oysters, fruits, mashed potatoes, the whole parade. (The other night I almost threw up after I stuffed myself like a maniac. Seriously, I couldn't breathe well.)

Now, I believe I gained a few centimeters around the waist and they want me to wear black fucking swimming trunks? Gawd. I don't even have that. The last time I wore trunks in public was back in high school when I didn't know what shame means and when I looked like a trunk myself, of a century-old oak tree or something. And I was in Boracay. It's only now that I realize how ridiculously, horribly fucked up I was.

Here's more; they told me that the pageant's theme is Western-inspired. So when I knew about that I thought, "Hmmm... Tight pants, plaid buttoned-downs and cowboy boots will do." Or you know, something modern and Western. But where did the friggin' black trunks come from? Are we really going to shoot a VTR of some sort for the competition or make an amateur Brokeback-inspired gangbang video? Seriously, what the hell is up with that?

Ugh. I do not have time to sculpt killer abs and get toned. So the least I can do is to get rid of the excesses. I plan to detoxify very soon. The shoot is on Monday which means I only have 2 days left. GAWD.

By the way, my skin is so fucking awful too. Ugh. And my hair too.

Nighters.

Goodbye 2006, Hello 2007

The past days have been crrrazy. Absolutely unbelievable. I've been intending to write about it sooner but I was either too busy or the connection's fucked up again.

Anyway... Oh, what's that? The garage sale? Oh. HAHAHAHAH... It was a success. Gawd. Who would've known. I was wishing to make at least P3,OOO but God is good. Or rather, people are starving so they need cheaper clothing options? Kidding. We got a total of a bitching P13,000+. I love it. Ten grand more than what I wished for.

I wanted to take pictures but I just didn't have time. I initiated this whole thing so i had to be there the whole time. We opened at 9 AM of Saturday and there were already customers at 9:01 AM. Seriously, it's overwhelming.

Here's another unexpected thing. I invited a couple of people to the sale including my ex who was too busy. SO, the new boy came instead, with some company. He liked my super old yellow Nike rubber shoes I used to wear in high school. I got those for like P5,000+ and I got it for sale at P1,800. Anyway, it was a total surprise when this silver car pulled up in front of our garage then in comes this guy who introduced himself as the boyfriend of *****. I was so fucking surprised. I really didn't expect anything like that. Anyway, he liked my stuff including the shoes. He bought a couple of stuff for himself and for my ex and told me he's gonna pick up the shoes the following day. Anyway, to cut it short, he didn't get the shoes when he came back the next day. He said they're just too big. He says he's an 81/2 and the shoes are 11. HAHAHAH... That's after he talked me into dropping the price to 1.3K. Ugh. I hate it. Fucking cheapskate! I'm kidding. Whatever.

All in all, the sale was great. In fact, it was supposed to be a one-day affair. But since the turn-out was so great and there were still stuff left by Saturday afternoon, we decided to have a second swing the following day. It's just so wonderful. By the way, the whole family ended up digging thru their stuff and joined the sale. Hahahah... It was crazy. FUN FUN FUN. Definitely.

I was able to get rid of stuff I no longer want that much AND earned 5K+. Fantastic.

Moving on...

Happy New Year! I hope this one's a better one. 2006 was a blast. Bittersweet memories still linger around my insides but I don't even wanna reminisce last year's roller coaster ride. I have no time for drama right now. But seriously, those 12 months was one hell of a time in my life.

I'd love to blab a little more but my face is sooo oily right now it could put Saudi Arabia to shame. I'm gonna go wash up and whatever else.

P.S.
I'm so tired by the way. Been doing a lot of stuff lately. We have guests in the house and I'm playing host, or something. At the same time, I'm savoring every minute of this break. In fact, I might be doing a little too muvh savoring. Gawd. I've been binge eating. My tummy looks like a friggin' blimp. Oh well, it's the holidays so spare me the guilt.

Good night. Bye.

Random Rants

My connection is slow again for some reason so I'm gonna keep this short.

• As always, I'm exhausted again. Woke up early today to go to a neighboring city and checked my rented place there and I had to buy some stuff. It was fine, (my place) except that it's a little dusty/dirty there. Well, it's actually that way almost all the time anyway so I just bug-bomned the room just to make sure and then left for the mall... SM City was full. Ugh. I couldn't believe there were that many people shopping two days after christmas. Until, I noticed the words "SALE" or "DISCOUNT" staring at me from everywhere. That's when I realized... I only bought two white belts though. Very cheap, both of them. Didn't really have time to look around 'coz I met up with a friend and we watched a movie. And then my family and I met up later on and they wanted to go home, and so did I coz it was a 3-hour trip going back to our place. Hence, the shopping cut short. It's fine though. I was able to accomplish everything in my "itinerary" namely: check my place, buy stuff for my face from my dermatologist, go to the mall, spend. Hah!

• I sent out text messages and online bulletins today about the upcoming garage sale. Hah. A lot of people showed interest. Some of them even told me they're actually gonna come and visit. Gawd. Those lying maggots. Kidding. I hope a lot of people do show up AND buy our stuff. :) Anyway, I'm so excited 'coz my mom and sister-in-law might join in. And I know they have a lot of good stuff. I'm so friggin' psyched about this little project I started. It's about time you know. I've been wanting to do this for the longest time. Oooh... I hope everything goes well. I want some space in my cabinets and less in my wallet! Hahahah...

• I'm still feeling a little sick. I hate this frucking cough I've had for like, two days. It's so not cool.

That'd be all for now. So much for keeping it short.

Gotta go.

Byebye.

Garage Sale Drama

I am a little emotional right now. And not just because of my christmas heartbreak.

See, for the longets time, I've been wanting to have a garage sale, because I no longer/have never worn over half of the stuff in my cabinets/closet. They're all either out-dated, ill-fitting or just plain ugly.

Today, with the mock reactions of my parents, I was granted the permission to use our puny garage. So there, on December 30, 2006, 9 AM to 3 PM, some of my stuff are going to be sold to random buyers. Hopefully more than three, and not just the people I know.

Anyway, I didn't think it was gonna be that hard to pick out the things I'm gonna put out there. I actually had to sort out the ones that I'm selling from the ones that I'm not really sure about (stuff I intend to give to relatives and other people I know who actually need clothes). I just didn't want some stuff to go to some stranger.

Like many other apparel-loving maniac there is, I have developed an emotional rapport with my clothes. Seriously, a lot of them even bring back various memories of the old days. Especially the oversized shirts and the baggy pants. Ugh. I know. ---I can't even believe how fat I was before. I used to be a whale.--- Like in high school, I used to wear what they call elephant or big mouth pants. The ones with pants so big you can have an adult monkey clinging on your legs and no one would know. Gawd. And you should've seen how I'd prepare my pants for the next day; putting safety pins on the hem to avoid dragging them all over the ground. That was crazy. AND THE SIZE! I used to wear size 31-33 pants. (Now I'm a 28-30. :p)

Anywhow, as horrid as some of them are, it really is hard getting rid of a few of my "memorabilia". That's why I'm keeping some shirts and pants. Besides, who knows, I'm so not hoping, but I might be able to wear/use some of those pieces in the future. I'm actually afraid of the day that I will regeret disposing particular items but whatever. Hopefully, by that time, I can just shrug it off and easily rush to high-end shops and undergo therapy---shop myself to complete and utter ecstacy.

I'm gonna go ask my sister to join the sale. I know she too has lots of stuff she doesn't use.

I'll update soon.

Wish me luck!

Pictionary

Peaceful greetings from my humble abode. I'm sick and I smell like a stray dog. I have the flu so let's just go on with the show. Here's more images from the Batangas/Manila escapade.

We stayed at the fantastic Crystal Blue Resort.

More photos to come very soon.

Gotta go. Byebye.

Heart-breaking Holiday

Merry Christmas.

Look what Santa brought me this year; a whole truckload of shit and an ocean of tears.

I'm so fucking single I so fucking see it in the mirror.

Heartaches. *sigh*

The Great Escape '06

I'm absolutely back home. And it's starting to smell like ham. Well, ribs actually, that's what we're gonna have for our Noche Buena later. PLUS! I'm gonna try my luck on Seafood Pasta. Good luck.

Anyway, it's been two days since me and my family went back from our holiday trip. It was fun. I did a lot of shopping. I swear, I think I walked a hundred miles throughout that trip. Whatever.

I have to take a bath. So I'll let the photos do the talking.

By the way, we hit a kid on our first day in Manila. My Aunt was driving and this 10-13 years old kid was all over the street and we accidentally hit him. Gawd, that was fucking scary. Good thing Auntie hit the breaks before we run him over. Ugh. Anyway, he's alive.

Sand. Sea. Sun. Salivate.

Holiday Getaway

Still on vacation here. It's great if not for the horrible traffic and the taxi drivers from hell. Oh well, it's generally a great experience. Anyway...

We've been shopping. I almost lost a leg walking around shopping hot spots. Manila is so congested by the way with people rushing because of the yuletide season. Ugh. The malls are flooded with eager shoppers rushing for bargains, discounts etc. I bought stuff from Topman earlier and a couple of cheap shirts, and a cardigan. Hope to post photos soon.

Gotta go.
Love me and I'll love you!
:)

P.S.
I sound so nice today. I hate it. Hahahahah...

Trippin'

Just finished packing. Tomorrow, me, my parents and my kid cousin are flying to Manila. Yay.

Hello vacation! That's right. It's the holidays and I am taking a break and get my life back for a few weeks!

I love it that we're going out of town. My other relatives are already there. They left this morning. We'll be in the fantastic beaches of Batangas over the weekend. Then be back in Manila by Sunday I think.

Ugh. I am so friggin' excited, ecstatic, psyched about this trip. I really need it. What with all the stress went through with school. Hah! I need to refuel you know.

I hope I get to shop a lot. Gawd, I need more clothes. I was packing a few minutes ago and that's when I realized how badly I need to update my wardrobe. I packed a lot but not the usual tons of shit I bring with me when I travel. You know WHY, because I have like, 3 "wearable" pieces. I have a ton of stuff in my cabinet but I don't wear about 75% of the clothes 'cause they're either ugly, stained, or oversized.

Anyway, I'm wearing jeans and this nice Esprit striped shirt (gray and black) tomorrow. I hope I pull it off. It's so cheap so I have to make that not obvious. HAHAHAHAHAH... Fuck clothes. I'm spending quality time with family. *grin

But really, I hope everything goes well. So help me God.

P.S. I wanna meet new "friends". I hope I do, really. ;)

X-ugh-sted

I AM SO FRIGGIN' EXHAUSTED.

I've had only 4 hours of nap in a span of 36 hours. I'm like a walking corpse, dammit. We had to work on our college paper which was supposed to be out a million years ago. It's really delayed so we had to stay up all night at the printers and edit articles written by people who seem to have their own rules of grammar and syntax.

Nonethless, I think I'm gonna go around town tonight. There's this celebration going on around the whole city for a week. We, flipinos call it "fiesta". It's like giving glory to a patron saint or something. Tonight I'm gonna go and pay tribute to my partying gods.

I'm soo exhausted. I swear.

Hellidaze

It's that time of the year again. A time for eating and having an excuse to be fat soon. A time to redecorate the house like Santa Clause vomitted all over it. A time to receive and give gifts. A time to be merry. A reason to commit suicide.

God, who am I kidding? I love the holidays; no class, more free time, more food and gifts galore. But it's just so sad that I don't have anyone to share what my innermost desired gifts are, sing my favorite christmas songs with, brag all the food that i'm engorging to, anymore. (Shit, listen to me. I sound like a sissy bitch.) I absolutely despise that subtle nagging in your head that you have to be extra perky and positive and happy during this time of the year. It's takes so much work.

But... You know... I think you know what I'm talking about. I'm missing that SOMEBODY.

Ugh. I hate myself for being this way. It's like drugs. Once you get a taste of it, and you like it (I know I did), it's like you're just not the same without it. And I'm not just talking about the sex! HAHAHAHAHAH....

I sound horrible. I know.

What the hell. The bottomline is I'M FUCKING SINGLE ON CHIRSTMAS!

I know, it's ok to be single. In fact, I want one of those turquoise single rings. But it's just different when you have somebody to run to, to talk to, etc., whenever, wherever. Get it?

Oh well. It sucks, but I'm gonna have to deal with everything. I mean, God, I have the rest of my life to live, right? Right? Right? Ugh.

Anyway, one thing I'm psycehd about is this holiday get-way my family is planning. It's 99% sure but I don't wanna jinx it. So I'm not gonna talk about it yet. Besides, it's lunch time and I haven't had a bath yet. I stink like a spoiled fruit! LOL. I kid.

Random Rants

Beautiful Scars

Do I keep longing for the past because I'm not enjoying the present?

I shouldn't get stuck in a pithole of memories.

How long does it take to get over the yesterday?

Memories--that's just it. They're merely memories of things of the past. Things that may never get relived ever.

Over. Done with. Gone.

Whine Vine

The only thing that took a vacation this past weeks are my brain and sleeping habits.

HANGOVERS: they're so bittersweet.

Pictionary

Latest party Pictures:

Now THAT'S a Party

What can I say. This week has been a party. Really. Two nights ago, my sister, cousin, friends, and I went to this party in a local bar called Syrup. My sister and I arrived at almost 11:30 and the party hasn't started yet. We met up with my friends and my cousin with her group.

It's amazing cause there was a lot of new faces around. Seems like it's been a while since I've been out in my hometown. It's either the ugly kids grew up to be hotties or aliens from other places just came to visit. Anyhow, it was a good crowd--with the exception of a few skanks and chavs of course. :)

The place was small so the mob of scenesters wasn't well accommodated. Lucky for us, my cousin reserved seats.

Fast forward to 1 AM, the party was getting hot, figuratively and literally. It was sweet, I mean sweaty. I had sooooo much fun though. Really, mucho, mucho, mucho fun. By the way, the drinks were really cheap so it was flowing until the bar ran out. So we had to settle for beer during the last round.

The dancing? Hah! It was damn good. Everybody was sweating like crazy. I know I lost two pounds from all that dancing and perspiration.

At 2, groups of annoying people came in. There was this guy who climbed up the couch where we were sitting/dancing on. I told him to get off the couch as soon as my friend returns. And he was like, "Ok. Later." I didn't say anything but I was really pissed. Then the fucker was leaned towards me and said, "I like you. What's your name?' I was like, "Huh?" Then he asked me again and I told him my name. He even asked for my whole fucking name. It was so annoying.
Without me asking, he told me he's Earl then he offered his hand. I had to be civil although he was really getting on my nerves. Ugh. Anyway, I thought he was done but when I was pouring myself a drink he asked for a shot and he'll buy the next round. I pretended the I didn't hear him and downed the damn drink. Hah!

Well, for sure, I wasn't the only one who was approached (i refuse to say "get hit on" blah!) by a guy. I was with beautiful girls so each had a share of uncalled for attention. Hahahahah...

We fled the scene at almost 4 AM. It was totally awesome.

God, that was really great. I enjoyed that party. My friends were there, my sister and cousin, the cocktails flowed, my outfit was nice (I believe--I was channeling a poor Borgy Manotoc who missed the gym for months) and the vibe spelled B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Breakfast at 5 PM

I totally had a long, wild night. In fact, it ended at about 6:30 AM.

I'm in the mall right now cause I did some errand and I just had both breakfast and lunch at 5 PM. The last meal I had before that was at around 3:30 AM at Chowking where a friend and I went after dancing like wild beasts or something.

I swear I must have lost 2 lbs. from all that dancing up the ledge. It was cool though, I didn't really care that much if I was sweating like a friggin' laborer in the middle of summer. What can I do? I had to work it right.

Anyway, everything was sudden. This friend of mine and I didn't really have anything to do/anywhere to go so we decided to go around town and hit the night party scene. It was fun, just the two of us talking, laughing, dancing and acting silly. Thank god she didn't get drunk though, I hate it when she's stoned.

We hopped to a total of three bars and a fastfood place where we spent three hours waiting for sunrise.

It was soo great to finally go out and just let loose, and like, not think of school and anything shitty. Alhtough I hated the music in this first bar we went to cause they were playing really sad love songs and I hate that. Ugh, drama. I almost hurled a bottle of beer at the band.

Second stop: Flow.

It was nice. The place is always nice. The crowd was, err, okay. The place was inhabited by these mid-30s people that looked like government workers, and peppered by a few hot people here and there. We had no idea it was 80s and 90s night so the DJ didn't really get us "dropping it". It was all cool though. Cocktails + smooth conversation = fun, fun, fun.

After cocktails, we went to this club nearby witht the hot tunes and all so we got up the ledge and brought it. Hahahahah... It was so much fun. I thought my legs were gonna fall off. I swear I was sweating like crazy. After an hour straight of dancing, we went out and as useual, our hair and clothes smelled of second-hand smoke, sweat, you know what I mean.

So yeah. We then went eating at a fastfood place and took pictures (which are not available right now), talked, laughed. It was great.

It was about 6:15 when I got back to my place to finally sleep.

Ah... there's nothing like waking up to screaming acid in your stomach, a headache and sticky hair that smells like shit.

25 Hours

Currently listening to: Grey's Anatomy Theme Song, Me, Myself and I by Beyonce, etc...

Can you actually, literally go crazy by depricing yourself from enough sleep?

I'm afraid I might have done it to myself. I've never been the one who goes to sleeps the earliest/at a decent hour in this household. Ever since I was young, it's been like that; my sleeping habits have been really fucked up. I remember when I was still a little kid my aunt who used to baby-sit me would spank/scold me for avoiding afternoon naps.

Now, I'm twenty and as much as I hate it, it's the perfect time for me to listen good to those lectures. Really. It's like this: If an average person sleeps half the time of his life, I sleep another half of that time. In fact, it's 2:30 AM here right now, I have a throbbing headache and here I am still online. It's like there's just not much enough time in a day. I mean, if not for rest and health, I'd be up twenty-five friggin' hours. Dreams are nice but foul morning-mouth and uncontollable drool is just disgusting, plus, I have a ton of other stuff to do like surf the net, see my friends, party, eat crap, watch TV crap, etc.

Anway, my point is; do I have insomnia? Last night, err, this morning, I slept at 4 AM. Have I possibly lost it becasue of lack of the Zs? Am I Carrie Bradshaw? lol

School's Out

It's sem break and I still have to go to school becasue of some extra duties. What I like about it is I still get to receive my weekly allowance. *wink wink* Downside is sometimes it's just so boring. This is supposed to be my chance to hang around but this place is just bland to me. Better do something exciting pronto!

Pictionary

A short pictionary before I hit the sack. Might update soon. Busy, busy.

Pig

September 28, 2006
11:10 PM

I’m getting fat. I’m not yet fat but I know I will blow up soon if I don’t stop overeating. These past days have been cold and wet because of the typhoon and all I did was stuff myself crazy. I have been binge eating and most of my meals are bathed with oil; deep-fried chicken, fries, burger, plus pizza, everything, which is equal to oily skin and pimples! Eww.
I should’ve been watching what I eat. But no, “never mind the weather, the starving people everywhere, the thesis, the deadlines, I just had to be such a pig.” And by the way, I don’t have money anymore. I swear I’m so dirt poor right now because of so much food that I buy. Oral fixation? I dunno, maybe. All I know is I can’t last a day without munching food in unusual quantities. I mean, I’m not eating as much as the whole of China does, but I just didn’t use to be this way. In fact, just two weeks ago, I’d eat just to avoid getting hungry. Now, hungry or not, I really pig out. There is something wrong here.
Classes got suspended today because of the weather. Well, of course, that didn’t stop me from getting my ass to the mall and binge eat with a friend. We had ice cream, chicken, pop corn, coke light, and spaghetti. Talk about sugar shock. I had to withdraw from via ATM because like I said, my wallet is thinning by the minute.
Anyway, I have got to work on my thesis. I really want to graduate this school year. Seriously.

JUST FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY

“I wanna say that I wanna die but I don’t really mean it”

How can a person be so unlucky in a span of 5 shitty hours?
Today, I felt like the cosmos played a very cruel game on me. And what’s worse about it is, I’m mostly responsible. I should come with a sign saying: GULLIBLE AND STUPID. GO ON, FOOL ME.
September 13, 2006, Wednesday, seemed to be a fine day. In our first class, we watched a movie. The next, which was the last, we were supposed to have this exam about The Iliad and The Odyssey but our prof couldn’t make it so we left school early. Yay.
Fast forward in the afternoon, two friends and I went to the mall. All seemed fine.
Come 6 o’clock and everything got fucked up. I swear, there are just people (no, not the aforementioned two friends) who have Satan’s blood running in their veins. I’m not going to spill a lot about it but it has something to do with three hours of waiting for nothing. And knowing just that, you can imagine how excruciating it must have been. While waiting I thought it’s all going to be worth it. But hell, I wasted my precious time. So yeah, I waited for nine fucking hours and all I got was a bunch of stupid, insensitive text messages.
So I waited right? Until a clue found me and finally decided to flee from the shithole I was in.
I arrived at my place wondering why the stairs were wet. The answer came in the form of a sound of water like that of a waterfall, only with less decibels. I fucking forgot to fucking turn off the fucking faucet.
It turned out water has been running forcefully from my bathroom all the way to the stairs outside. It kinda pissed me off that nobody outside noticed and bothered to do something about it. Then again, I don’t even know their names. So there, I had to do some major clean up because my room was drenched.
By the way, those two incidents really bothered me because I haven’t really been having good days lately.
What a day. I wouldn’t be surprised if anytime now, some lunatic barges in my door and murders me. But of course I hope that doesn’t happen because I don’t want to die unhappy AND that’s just a really ugly way to make an exit.
*Sigh
It’s soooo hard to be me sometimes.

Two Decades Old

I AM SO FRUCKING OLD!
Oh my God I just entered my twenties and I can’t believe it. It’s as if just moments ago I was sucking on my Hippo Pop while donning my high school uniform. (Okay, that’s so gay! Hahahahahah. Whatever.)
Anyway, my friends and I (the “Fantastic Four”) went out and man did I have a great time! Really. The dancing was insane. And when I dance, I make sure I own the freaking dance floor and get my ass rollin’ everywhere. And I SURE did exactly that just a few minutes ago. Well, we would’ve stayed there and sweat it out even more if only we weren’t in our school uniforms and there was no 8 AM class the next day and it wasn’t 1 AM already. That’s like 4 hours past my curfew! But I swear, we rocked that dance floor. There were even these two girls who danced with me, and so I had to bring it. To their great delight of course!
HAHAHAHAHAH! The dancing was so hot. No wonder the people left there weren’t very happy when we left. AND I’m not bluffing at all. Seriously, it was so much fun.
Back to my birthday—some special people sent me warm messages just a while ago. Somebody even called. :) That was sweet. Just hope each one of them was sincere. Kidding.
It’s friggin’ 2:10 AM right now and God knows what time I’ll be able to sleep and wake up. Oh well, might as well work my way to the Zs.
Happy F*cking Birthday to me!

Pictionary

Some pictures from last week's party:





Gotta love Filipino Beer; SanMig Light.


That's my almost-drunk cousin right there.



What the... Hahahahahah

The party was held just outside the house by the way.


That's it for now. I look horrible in all three pictures, I know. Whatever.

Post Party Depression

God, did I enjoy the party.

The great music, great food and all. Man... Dad even got the road closed because our house is too puny for all the guests.

Anyway, it was all good. My friends came, although not of them. But to hell with those people who didn't make it.

It was nice to get drunk and dance like you're hopelessly horny and just play around. It was all good. I miss it already.

Today is a holiday so I'll keep it short. I haven't taken a bath yet and I stink like a laborer's armpits. I'll try and go around town and look for the perfect specs for my now-damaged eyes. Wish me luck!

"Partay"

There's this party tomorrow for my sister, and I'm not sure yet what to wear.

There's gonna be tons of food and people, including friends whom I have never seen in ages. Of course, I wanna look good. Although the first thing they'll probably gonna say is, "Oh, you're really getting thinner these days." And all the time, I'm fighting the urge to throw some sort of retort like, "And you're getting to my nerves" or "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad. It's okay that you're fat."

HAH!

I bet the food Mom cooked AND ordered will be gastronomically awesome. I swear I'm ready for some binge eating. I might start later by stuffing myself with junk as midnight treat. There better be something good on cable.

Back to the party, I'm sure there's gonna be drinking. I hope everybody gets drunk. Then all of us can dance to Bob Sinclar, Madonna, Franz Ferdinand, Milky, or even Moony and the Pussycat Dolls! Hahahahah...

That party better be how it should be: Fun and Frivolous.

Dot Dot Dot

Life sucks.

You know, I'm so scared that one day, I'll open this little, if not pathetic online diary of mine and think I am such a fucking loser with a life worth five cents. I mean, all I write here is bad stuff happening to me. I gues that's what you get when you're 50% manwhore, 49% hedonist and 1% pessimist.

Anyway, I'm in the mall right now and i absolutely have no idea what to do here. I just had a haircut but I didn't wanna go back to my place yet so I went online without any reason/purpose whatsoever. I tried talking to people but they're all uninteresting, err... wait. Maybe I'm uninteresting?! Ugh. Whatever. They're morons.

And I'm they're God.

Aaagh. I fucking hate this. Boredom is one of the worst states for me. It's so destructive. I do a lot of stupid, stupid stuff when I'm bored. And I usually end up broke, even more depressed or injured after doing these stupid things.

Don't get me wrong. I do have friends. They're just not available right now. I'm not sure but I think this has something to do with this city. It's soo puny and the places I go to are so unlimited. Well you can't blame if I'm stuck in this shithole.

Got to go. Maybe I'll strangle a couple of cats for dinner just for the hell of it. Bye.

Random Rants

It's 11:35 AM and I have a grueling exam in an hour and a half.

The weather has been really terrible in this part of the world. It has been raining nonstop for weeks now and umbrellas have failed me so many times already. However, right this moment, it's bright outside. Yes the sun is back. (Gawd, I sound like a friggin' 10 year-old.)

I hope the fucking rain goes away for good. I mean, yeah it's cool to have a little downpour once in a while. But everyday? Please. I don't have that many jackets to wear and shoes to ruin. Plus, it makes me wanna hug somebody when it's cold. And if luck favors it, may be even cuddle, or... you get the picture. Who doesn't? There's just something about the cold, the dim surrounding, and everything. Anyway, fuck it.

My room is a complete mess right now. I just hope by next week, it gets cleaned. But who am I kidding? What with all the junk I have, I don't think so.

More nonsense:

• Last night, when I was supposed to be studying, I was dancing like a maniac thirsty of some good ramming. I couldn't help it. I love Justine T's new single "Sexy Back" and Kelis' "Bossy," the video is hot. Bob Sinclar's "World (Hold On)" is also great.
• I want ice cream. I dunno, but lately I've been craving for cold food.
• I *heart* bryanboy.com.
• What is up with me and my phone these days? It's like I'm not interested in it anymore. Like I couldn't even care if I lose it, which I hope I won't. It's just that I'm out of interesting people to talk to. Damn heatbreak.
• Text/Call me.

I'm gonna go and try to make use of what's left of my brain now. Good luck to me.

One Big Break Please...

It's exams time once again and I'm here blogging. Hot.

Anyway, I've been so fucking busy these past days I look like a sexed out corpse. I swear my eyebags are the size of a backpackers' luggage. And the dark circles! Ugh.

As usual, I'll keep it short coz I don't really have much time. By the way, the weather sucks here. A gazillion typhoons have consecutively dropped by to blow the hell out of Las Islas Filipinas. And voila, I have a fucking cold.

So I'm sick, busy and worried. Thank God I'm still alive though. Whatever. I don't know what to say. There's a lot of things bugging me at the moment. I want mental diarrhea.