Ho-ho-ho!

Finally made it home. I'm vacation, yay! Well, actually it's kind of an illegal getaway since I'm calling in sick at work for five straight days but whatev. Ugh.

0kay, before anything else, let me just say that I am stuffed. I swear, stuffed like a goose being force fed to make fois gras. I have been eating like a construction worker out on lunch lately.
I just had Noche Buena with my sister and parents. It's nothing fancy, quite simple actually. Basically, we had spaghetti, 2 kinds of cake (chocolate and choco mocha crunch), brownies flooded with chocolate frosting, grapes and white and red wine. We'll have the ham tomorrow.

We all had a good laugh when Mom got a little tipsy. Me and the parentals downed an entire bottle of White Zinfandel and another red. It's all good, laughing, eating and drinking and stuff. Gotta love the holidays.

No wonder I've been getting FAT lately! And everybody is noticing it. Well, I can't deny it. I'm guilty. Anyone can tell just by looking at my extra-rice lovehandles. Ugh. I fucking hate it. I'm spilling out of my skinny jeans. Somebody needs to get his fat ass back to the friggin' gym.

Anyway, we'll have our second garage sale this Wednesday and I'm spearheading the affair. Last year was great and I'm hoping this year would be better considering my brother and his wife actually sent 95% of the stuff straight from the States. I priced out some of the items today and honestly, there's a lot of great buys there.

I'm still enjoying my vacation. Gawd. It's good to be home. Merry Christmas!

At Least It's Not Drugs

I'm guilty.

I have a sickness, a disorder, a very expensive weakness. Something that has and may put me in more trouble.

I went to the mall today planning to spend around P1,000 for gifts and I ended up spending almost P4,000. Do you still consider that "around" P1,000? I don't. And by the way, the primary purpose was to buy gifts for other people but I spent 30% of the budget on a pair of shoes for me which was completely not in my mental shopping list.

When I was a lot younger, my Aunt, who could alledgedly do palm reading, took a look at the lines of my palms and told me that I will have a lot of money one day but the clincher is since I spend too much, all the money will all go to my fancies in a snap. I now kind of believe her.

I just received my 13th month pay less than a week ago and it's now wiped out. In fact, I spent more than the worth of just my 13th month pay. Waaaaay more.

I am currently trying to brain-wash myelf to think that it's all worth it and that it's all good since I was able to buy gifts for family and friends and for myself.

Gawd.

I'm frivolous. I'm a shopping outlaw. I'm consumerism personified. I feel guilty but... it's so... so... good.

Random Rants

Okay, once again, I've been too caught up with a lot of stuff lately I didn't get enought time to document every detail here.

Inside WOW Cafe at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport - I swear I'm not emo.

But anyway, let's review the past weeks shall we?

First, our pet fish died. He's an arwana (is that how you spell it?) fish and he's over 5 years old so I guess if he didn't die because he hasn't been eating, he died of old age. Or maybe both? I dunno. The damn fish has been pulling a Nicole Richie for 2 months. For now, he's out of the aquarium and into freezer until we figure out what to do. You can't really flush a 2-foot fish down the toilet can you?

I am soooooo ecstatic about going home. Thanks to my great brother, I now have roundtrip tickets for a 9-day trip back to my hometown, Roxas City and an overnight stop-over in Iloilo City where I studied college. I am so loving it. I hope nothing fucks this up no and I hope I'm not jinxing it because I desperately need a break. Ugh.

I have a new housemate. Well, actually, housemates. But I don't want to talk about that. Whatev.

Ohmigod, can you believe it's already December? Santa's breath is in the air y'all. And I haven't done my christmas shopping yet. Jeez, I better get my hands on that thirteenth month pay at work so I can get into the christmas shopping frenzy pronto! Gawd, listen to me. Poverty sucks.

I'm still considering quitting work but not until next year (I think). I need to find a great new job first that will let me spoil myself and give me free shit all the time. Summit Publications are you reading this?

I've been up for 18 hours and I look like a hot mess. It's time for another facial. Gawd, I hate my skin. And oh, by the way, I think I gained wait slash got fat. My gut is disgusting. You see, I've been staying at my Aunt's place lately and I guess they've been taking care of me really well.

'Til next time.

Plumbing 101

OMG I'm a plumber! One of these crazy days, don't be surprised if you see my number written on scrap plywood nailed on a post or hung on a wall.

Time to say bye-bye!

Okay, everything started over a week ago when the faucet in the bathroom started to leak. If I were home and something like that happens, I'd simply tell Papa about it and he would have it fixed that same day, or I wouldn't even have to tell him about it at all, he's quite meticulous about those things.

But I'm not really at home am I? So, not knowing how to get it fixed, I called this building's admin. Apparently, the association fee doesn't cover plumbing services unless it's in common areas. Whatever.

One of the security guards gave me this guy's number and I called him up immediately. I expected to shell out about P200-350 for a simple plumbing service. But no, this guy basically said that since he does a lot of plumbing for residents of the building, he'll charge P600 "only". I was like, "Are you fucking kidding me? Since when did plumbers get as expensive as doctors? Jeezes, that's like a good scarf and some socks or a nice shirt or a pair sunnies." But of course I didn't really say that out loud. Anyway, I told him I'll just call him again once I've decided. He actually got quite disappointed saying he came all the way from Sampaloc (I'm in Malate), which, to be honest, I don't know where is. So I just gave him P40 for gas since he drives a motorcycle and he scrammed.

New Faucet (at the left): "Move over old bitch."

When I told my parents about this, they were quite appaulled as well and my dad told me to just try fixing it myself.

"Well hello there!"

Stuff under the lavatory

All done in 5 minutes!

And that's exactly what I did this morning. That plumber guy told me the faucet itself is broken so it needs to be replaced. So I had my water supply turned off last night and took out the broken faucet. This morning after work, busted faucet in tow used as a sample, I went to the hardware store and bought a new one. It cost me P400. I'm not sure if it's too much but it's definitely better than paying an additional P600 just to have someone twist and turn some stuff under the lavatory. So yeah, to cut it short, I did it and it's working perfectly now.

Voila!

What do you think?!!! Gawd, I'm so proud! Ma, Pa, are you reading this?!

The L Word (No I'm Not Talking About Carpet Munchers)

Okay, how hard is it to get some real lovin' around here? I mean, seriously, I think I've been very patient all this time. But still, nothing, zero, nada. The sex is not coming very easy either. I'm not sure if it's me who doesn't have the time or who has hang-ups I'm not certain. One thing's for sure though, sex is so much easier to get than romance. Talk about stating the obvious. I've had a couple of humpin' over the year and pretty much zero romantic relationship. But I think I'm through with that. Sex is fantastic but as much as possible, I'd like something more than just a libido-based experience.

What's worse is that I'm wanting the damn relationship thing so badly. Two years ago I would be barfing at the sight of anything mushy and romantic and shit, but now, I can't help but long for that tingly sensation that used to creep me out. What is wrong with me?!

It's like drugs isn't it? It's addictive and it brings out a totally different side of you. Jezez, I think I want my cycism back now.

Positive Thinking

Wow. It's November.

Let's see, what updates do I have to tell? Well, as usual, I've been homesick, thinking of when and how I'm going to quit my job, how I'm going to sustain my relatively excessive spending/lifestyle with the budget that I have and I've been just genereally depressed in the past weeks. What can I say, life is perfect. I am on top of the world bathing in glorious bliss.

Ok, fuck it. I should be thankful with what I have. RIGHT????? I mean, really I can honestly say that I'm blessed with a lot of great things that other people can only dream of. But I really should work on being more positive. Although, perky positive people with sunshine-y attitude often make me want to vomit my own esophagus, I must admit that I'm a little jealous. I can only wish I can always look on the bright side at all times.

This morning, just as I was starting to condition myself to be more optimistic and cheery, I checkedd my my mailbox. I got a letter from a good friend along with the phone bill. I swear to god I want to sue PLDT right now.

I applied for DSL which came with a year of free NDD calls. I already confirmed this with an agent over the phone. He told me that my free NDD service has been noted/activated in the system already. But my phone bill reveals another story. And this is the second consecutive time that this has happened by the way. Jeez...

Let's see. How does Mr. Sunshine react about that? Oh I'm sure the lovely folks at PLDT just overlooked that teeny weeny detail of my subscription. Oh yeah, I'm sure they did after I already paid a visit to their middle-of-nowhere office to raise this issue and spoke and confirmed this particular "perk" over the phone twice. I guess I'm just overreacting then and I'm fairly certain everything is going to be perfectly fine soon and they may even throw in some great compensation for this simple misunderstanding. I mean, it's not really important that the amount reflected on the bill is obscene and I'm not getting my money's worth. Oh, what do I know right? I guess it'll be really fun to go back to that very interesting office of theirs at the corner of boring and ghastly while I enhale Manila's infamous lung-loving air. No hassle at all. Oh, the thought of it just makes me giddy with unmistakable excitement.

See, this 'positive thinking' thing is really working. I'm surely getting the hang of it.

:) :) :) :) :)

Anyway, speaking of looking at the bright side, let me rant about random mundane things I usually foolishly enjoy. Today (or maybe a few hours ago) is November 1, which is All Saints' Day for catholics and Halloween for most parts of the world. If I were home, I would have been camping out at the cemetery bonding with the dead. But since I'm away from home, I decided to just go to the mall and look around while people go out of town either to visit loved ones who passed away or to have a little holiday R and R or both.

I went to Rockwell Powerplant Mall, which is becoming one of my favorite places here in Manila. I just bought a gift for a cousin, some stuff at the supermarket and had my caffeine fix at The Coffee Bean. As much as I wanted to be at home and spend time with family, dead or alive, that was the best thing I could do to fill the void of homsickness. :( It's cool though. I kind of enjoy dating myself, all the more when I have the moolah to shell out. :)

Tomorrow, I'm planning to go to this other relatively new mall, Trinoma, with my cousin just to check it out and so I don't rot here in the condo entertaining stupid thoughts. I haven't been there yet and I've been wanting to pay a visit. I heard it's a nice place. The name is kinda ugly though. What do you think? I mean... Yeah, I'm sure it's a great place and the name is very interesting.

Adult Stuff

Ok, being 21 is kind of confusing. It's like, you're not a teenager anymore but not an adult ADULT either.

I've been really thinking hard and long lately about quitting work. It's very hard having to force yourself to do something you don't really want every single working day. I want to get another job but I'm just not sure what I'll be after this.

I'm also bothered by the fact that some people are so inconsiderate. It's like they'll make certain decisions and at the nick of time, suddenly pull back. It's very frustrating. I don't even wanna talk further about this stupid bitch because she's just not worth it. I hope she gets out of my face soon. I am soooo tired of having to deal with her.

So anywaaaaay... The other day I got a text message, well actually 2 from an unfamiliar number. The first one was like "Hi," and the other one "Hi James. This is _____. How are you?" I had somebody in mind but I had to confirm so I replied, "____ who?" Then almost immediately I got a response containing this person's complete name. I almost had a heart attack.

It's really amazing how some people rise from the dead just like that as if nothing had happened. It's fucking appauling. I played it cool though the entire time though. Until of course I couln't take it anymore and finally asked what he's up to. Well, turns out he wants to say sorry. This is the same person who crushed my heart on christmas day last year. It sucks coz I'm so freakin' vulnerable right now. Do I smell an encore? Ugh.

Gawd, I'm sooooooooooooooooo homesick. I just wanna run away and go to Boracay and just take a well needed break.

Independence

It's been a while, I know. Gawd, a million things have transpired over the last feew weeks. I mean, my sister dearest visited already, I'm broke once again, and then just a couple of days ago I got regularized at work, and stuff.

Okay, let's start with my sister's visit. I heart my sister. I missed her so mucho mucho. Seriously, which is exactly why I have been planning to treat her out and shop with her way ahead before she got here. And that's exactly what we did. First, we got some back issues of V Magazines first. --V is very rare here. You're lucky if you can get an issue released on the same year you're currently living. -- Then we grabbed coffee at this deli that I love, and went to Rockwell.

Gawd, it was so hard to get a cab that time. I was sweating like shit when we finally got a ride. Ugh. I am sooo not loving the cab drivers here, seriously. But that's an ntirely different story.

Anyway, we bought some stuff at Rockwell like pasalubong, clothes and all, and went to Mall of Asia. Exhausted and hungry (we went out the night before that and slept at 5 AM), we decided to eat first at this restaurant called Bed Scene. It's a pretty cozy place except I hated the blaring music. Gawd, I believe the whole concept of the place is a lounge-y and comfortable dining experience, so why would you play bad ass hip-hop music at 7 PM? WTF?! Deal breaker. Anyway, I loved the part when we were eating and suddenly we noticed this amazing fireworks display with matching backgroound music outside. I've heard of it before it really is truly beautiful. Have I mentioned I love fireworks?

Back to the dinner, the food is unexciting, the conversation is heart warming and I insisted to pay the bill. That was a very special time because sister and I really got to bond and open up to each other. In fact, I almost freakin' cried. Gawd. Sissy much?

After fiesta, she and I headed back to the shops for more shopping and that's when I overspent as usual. She bought me a shirt by the way. So yeah, like the story as old as time, I'm broke again. Well, this time, it's really worse, like scraping-the-bottom-of-the-barrell broke. Yup, zero savings.

Do not even get me started with the bills. Oh god, you have no idea how hard my heart beats everytime I check my mailbox.

So anyway, when she left last week, I wanted to go home with her so badly. Yes, ok, I cried in the cab on my way back to my place from the airport.

Now if only I can have the same time with my other two siblings... Oh well, I love'em all, and I sooo miss Mama and Papa. It's crazy. And it doesn't help that christmas is around the corner, and there's a great chance I won't be able to come home for the holiday. Forget ho-ho-ho, more like huhuhuhu...

Speaking of work, I'm about to finish my contract in the end of the month. I already got regularized by the way. It's nothing exciting to be honest. The only things I'm thrilled about are
the PTOs and the raise. :) I'm seriously considering getting a new job, hopefully by next year if I don't get fired before 2007 ends. My office buddies are cool though

Ugh. Enough about work. It's making me vomit sick. Blah!

I just really wanna take a break. Like go home, see my family and friends again and relax. Ok, maybe not exactly relax because there's probably going to be a lot of partying but I just want to recharge, replenish and maybe even re-evaluate some things.

This is another case of the verbal diarrhea. 'Til next time.

Dante's Inferno

Here's one of my funniest chat sessions with a good friend over YM. Let's call the bitch Rix. I almost peed my pants a couple of times.

RIX: hey, if u got time... check out Google, then take the Dante Inferno test. the result will let u know which part of hell you will go to when u die.
ME: ok.

RIX: it's fun.. know what.. there was this question: do u plan/ have you ever had sex before marriage? and this: have you ever performed oral sex?
RIX: my mom shood me away when she answered! hahaha
ME: hahahahah
RIX: hhhhmmm.... now i know where i inherited my "naughty librarian" aura...
RIX: hahaha

(a couple of minutes later...)

ME: im gonna be on the seventh level
RIX: hahaha! really?
ME: oh well. i loVe it on the top
ME: love love
ME: hahahahah
RIX: ya know, i was "very high" with lust and gluttony...
RIX: ohmigod.. that website knows me! hahaha
ME: im just "high" on those things
ME: it's my violence that's overwhelming
RIX: oh.. well, that makes me a pervert.
ME: hahahahah
ME: i agree
RIX: really??! violence where? in bed?
ME: well at least you're honest
ME: you're an honest pervert
RIX: that, hunny.. is flattering.
ME: violence and wrath actually. and im also gloomy
RIX: oooohhh..
ME: gawd. i hope there's Topman in hell
RIX: me, i got "low", and "very low" with depression and anxiety questions.. i'm not unhappy! im bad in a different area..
RIX: u hope there's topman in hell? why? u wanna be bottom when u reach satan's den? maybe bcoz u were a topman while still living?
ME: well, i'm a bit of a masochist sometimes.
ME: gaga! I mean Topman the shop.
ME: i wanna at least shop while burning
RIX: aysorry.. sorry... see!!!! my being a lusty of a person is getting obvious!
RIX: oh ok.. shop.. did you see the descriptions of each level? read! read! i don't think you can shop in those conditions.

RIX: i forgot my level.. i forgot my level. it's hard to pronounce. i think it starts with M.
ME: well, apparently, my body will be hung in some sort of tree
RIX: hahahaha!
ME: and i will be blasted with scorching sand in the nude!
RIX: im imagining you.. im imagining...
ME: ill also be swimming in boiling blood
RIX: hahaha! this is interestingly hilarious.. im picturing u out in the nude
RIX: ooohhh... stop me.. im picturing u out in the nude..
ME: that's unstoppable
ME: you can't help it
ME: i know
RIX: pls go back to ur body being punished...
ME: centaurs will shoot me with an arrow if i try to escape
ME: and one of them will fall in love with me
RIX: hahaha! this is so Moses Time...
ME: and one of them will fall in love with me
ME: but i turned him down because
RIX: fall in love? are u sure ur reading the txt?
ME: but i turned him down because
ME: he doesn't have a cock
RIX: because..?
ME: he doesn't have a cock
RIX: doesn't have a cock ?! why ? that is capital punshment
ME: oh yeah. centaurs have cocks. no, i turned him down coz
ME: all we'll be doing is doggie
RIX: if he's an angel, then he/she doesn't have a sex organ.. so better pray to be in hell.
RIX: hahaha! doggie... you being the what?
ME: really?
RIX: the dog? arf! arf!
ME: then how the hell do they get in heaven?
RIX: i dont know because maybe they never had sex??!
ME: heaven isn't so heavenly after all
ME: hahahah
RIX: i just read it somewhere that angels cannot be classified to being male or female.. they are divine beings created by God. they are not humans.
ME: oh i see. well, they better offer something else as great as an orgasm or else i'm reserving my own space in hell pronto!
RIX: hahaha!
RIX: well, you have the garden of Eden... filled with fruits and vegetables, and flowers, and animals...
ME: eden can have her garden
ME: thank you very much
ME: i still prefer blowjobs
ME: hahahahahah
RIX: and happiness, and love, and contentmant, and kindness..
ME: right.
RIX: hahaha!
ME: jeez.... and to think
ME: it's my first time in 3 months to go to church today
RIX: and nude people... since you are not "ashamed", you are nude in Eden..
RIX: its like a Nudist beach filled with happy and kind people who dont judge you based on ur bilbil or flabby arms, and huge thighs...
ME: they don't judge because they're not having sex with you
ME: that's why
obsequio_rica: ok.. lets finish this question: If i am in the garden of eden, I would do this:
ME: answer these first: are there cute guys at the garden of eden? is the gardener jesse metcalfe of desperate housewives?
ME: answer these first: are there cute guys at the garden of eden? is the gardener jesse metcalfe of desperate housewives?
RIX: there's no gardener! you're all put there together to enjoy the grass that doesnt need to be mowed, the animals that dont need taming, and the flowers that dont need nurturing.. because everything is perfect.

ME: fine
RIX: hhhmmm... i dont know if you'll see that jesse dude. he may be stuck in purgatory
ME: i think i'm gonna arrange for a pictorial in the nude since everything is P-E-R-F-E-C-T
RIX: hahaha! and where the hell would u get a camera? cameras are so... so.. Earthy
ME: FINE.
RIX: yeah. everything is perfect.. including the luke jickain body that you would magically have..
ME: i'll just pose my ass off and bask in the glory of my perfect, flawless presence instead.
RIX: guess what i'll do when im in heaven..
RIX: hahaha!
ME: what?
ME: uh-oh. what?
ME: i'll request for a lot of mirrors too by the way
RIX: i will ride a lion, a camel (cancel that, camels may ruin my perfect-ness image!) a white unicorn (wtf), or a giraffe while trying to get an apple from a tree...
ME: hahahahahah
ME: what the hell?!!!
ME: you'll scratch your vagina
RIX: remember.. im in the nude! hahaha ooohh...now there goes orgasm while the animal is walking or running! hahaha!
ME: eew.
ME: ticks.
ME: you'll scratch your vagina
RIX: im making my own little hell..! hahaha!
ME: you'll scratch your vagina
ME: you'll scratch your vagina
ME: you'll scratch your vagina
ME: you'll scratch your vagina
ME: you'll scratch your vagina
ME: you like that don't you?!!!!!
ME: ohmigod beastiality
RIX: hahahah!
RIX: im laughing right no - literally
ME: me too. hahahahah

I love that conversation.

Check out this link to know what the hell we are talking about.
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

"I will burn in hell for being implusive."

My throat still hurts. Gawd, this has been going on for 8 days now! I swear to god I'm being punished for having sex with strangers. Although there has been some improvements, I can't say I'm really perfectly well now. Oh who am I kidding, I never am.

Anyway, yesterday, I thought I've had enough. I've lost enough time already. I mean, gawd, I've missed three days of work already, a facial and a shopping spree. So I decided to get out of this hole one scorching Friday afternoon to pay the bills, pick up a webcam and maybe look around the mall for "targets". Two hours later, I'm hyperventilating at People R People because of these lovely shoes. They're like half espradilles, half something. I loved them. I was *this close to a very impulsive buy when I realized they're not really all that. Then I went to Topman and I knew right then and there shopping will be the main reason why I'll end up in a curb one day with nothing to eat and only have my wardrobe with me. Thank goodness I managed to restrain myself and only bought this pair of super cool glasses. I love, love 'em.




To make it short, I did buy a webcam although it was way out of my budget plus I bought these shades simply because I thought they look great on me and they came knock knock knockin' on my shallow heart's door.

So, with me back to being broke and clearly realizing that I have sinned, I went straight to the church, which is the first time in months by the way. Yes, I prayed and I prayed for more shopping in the future. I'm kidding. Hahahahah... I clearly had to cleanse my soul so there.

After church, I went to another mall to pay the bills and picked up some groceries. Then I went straight back to the condo and took photos of myself with my new sunnies. It was a productive day.

Urban Domestication

Greetings from the veranda/balcony on the 26th floor. I've beena domesticat for so long now all I do is watch Desperate Housewives on DVD, check my email every 10 minutes, eat, sleep and take drugs. I've said this one and I'm going to say it again, I feel like a walking pharmacy with all the medication I'm taking for my tonsilitis/paryngitis, which by the way is still not healed. And believe me, I'm starting to think I'm going to have a swelling throat for the rest of my fucking life.

Anyway, blogging from the veranda of this building with only my boxers and undershirt on, overlooking a view of the city; how urban ghetto is that? I love it. I wish I was paid to do something like this.

Although I'm enjoying the lounging and eating and napping, I'm feeling kind of useless. This is very unproductive. I mean, how can I stay here doing nothing when there are bills to paid and errands to attend to, not to mention, work to be done at the office?! Well, it's my rest day actually but I already missed two days (or nights) of work and I'm pretty sure the current amount on my next next paycheck is pathetic

omgthisissototallyfuckingawesomeimdyingrightnow

About 2 AM
September 5, 2007

I'm back in the office. I have another 2 hrs of voice rest as prescribed by the company nurse. I feel like I have tacks stuck in my throat right now. I swear to god I'm considering having my tonsils removed. This has been going on for 4 days now and I'm practically a walking pharmacy. The fever is almost gone so I dragged my ass to work eventhough my throat hurts like hell. I've been to the clinic countless times and have visited the emergency room twice because of the same issue but I'm still not well. I am so sick of being sick. Seriously. That's why I've decided to postpone my birthday. I will truly, truly celebrate some other time when I'm well and when I have enough cash at my disposal. I've already missed 22 hours of work and my teammates are starting to treat me like a stranger. First, it was tonsilitis, then tonsilitis with fever, then pharyngitis! WTF?! I want to slit my throat and pull out my tonsils/pharynx/larynx whatever it is that's causing me this much hell. So what's up?

Sick Birthday

Yup, I made it to my 21st birthday. Well, barely. Jusus mother of gawd, I've been sick for 4 straight days now. I was literally hot during my birthday and my throat/tonsils have been killing. I swear to god I want to get theses nasty useless crap taken out of my system. What do you call that operation and how much does that cost again?

Anyway, I celebrated at my Aunt's house and she's been lovely. My cousins were great too. It's just so horrible how I spent my birthday at the emergency room of this crappy hospital near my Aunt's place.

Because of this friggin' sickness, I had to miss work for two days! Ugh. Honestly, this is just too much. I got my parents worried sick about me at home and my paycheck for this month is stil empty. What a way to welcome 21. I'm soooo sick of being sick, seriously.

P.S.
I didn't even get to eat my chocolate cake as much as I wanted to! And oh, because I brought limited supply of clothes at my Aunt's, I had to wear Von Dutch on my birthday! Yes! Von Dutch in 2007! WTF?!

21

In a matter of four days, I'm officially of legal, as in legal age. I'll be turning 21 and I'm planning to celebrate it with extended family since my sister and parents are in the province and my other sister and brother are noe in California.

I was just talking to a good friend how great it would have been if she was here with me to celebrate my birthday. I want to go out on Friday night and cruise at some club with her and have the DJ greet me once the clock strikes 12. Just pure fun. Hahahah... I love it.

I'm still homsick. And the thought of turning a year older is definitely not helping. Add to that the fact that I'm terribly broke right now. I can't wait til pay day. Oh God, there's just too much negative energy in me these days. I miss the times when all I had to worry about was the next day's exam, and the ouotfit I'll be wearing for the acquaintance party or something. Gawd, I never thought I'd miss college this much. Or maybe I just miss my friends? No, I miss the convenience of home and college.

Anyway, I'm still trying to digest 21. Me? 21? It's funny when I was about 15 or 16 I used to lie about my age when I talk to people online or text random strangers telling them I'm 18 or 19 or 20. When I turned 19 and 20, I'd say I'm 21. Now that I'm actually going to be 21 I wonder what my make-believe age is this time. I never intended to lie, it's just something that comes naturally. But I'm not really embarassed or ashamed of my age. At least not yet.

New age, new haircut. That's all. Will post pictures soon. God bless me.

The Rainy Days

It's raining horses and carabaos here in Manila. Well actually there's a typhoon named Egay. It's sad how it's so destructive and all but I'm kinda enjoying the weather. Especially considering the fact that I'm having my time off from work while all the other working people have to brave the fierce winds, heavy rain and dreadful thigh high flood water just to feed their bank accounts. I'm kidding. Who am I to even say this shit? I'm broke! And for all I know, I might go through the same catastrophy tomorrow when I have to go back to the office.

In fact, I already had a taste of this typhoon's wrath earlier when I went to the supermarket to buy groceries. It's just two blocks away but I had to get a cab on my way back because it was pouring and I had heavy grocery bags with me. Not only that, on my way here to the internet cafe, I had to take the stairs from the 26th friggin' floor because the elevators were busted! I didn't know what was going on until I reached the 9th floor where there was water gushing down the staircase. Apparently, they had to park the elevators at the 10th floor because, I don't know what exactly happened, but obviously the rain made its was into the building. How funny and annoying is that? Thank God I live all the way up there! Hahahah... Well good luck to me on my way back.

Anyway, yes, like I said, I'm broke. One of my housemates left so it's down to two. Only two divisions for the bills which means more money to pay for each of us. I am sooooo doing to die. I hate being poor. It doesn't also help that my birthday is a couple of weeks away. Oh great. I'm poor AND old. Just shoot me in the head already.

I whine a lot. I know.

P.S.
I love Krispy Kremes.

Random Rants

I'm feeling sick. I've been having this unbearable stomchache since early this evening. I already got rid of my breakfast and dinner but it still hurst a bit. I have a feeling it's juat gas. God I hope it's just gas.

Has anyone read Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella? Well, I just finished reading it. I'm not carzy about it but I somehow related to Rebecca Bloomwood's impulsive tendencies. I was imagining myself mentally rationalizing every unnecessary purchase that I make while leafing through the pages. Plus, I'm also in some sort of financial rut right now. I mean seriously, when's the last time I went shopping anyway? When I bought the chucks? That's not even shopping. I went to the mall after work to buy shoes I was already planning to buy. And that's the only thing I bought.

Anyway, it's been raining mad the last three days. I think it was only today when it didn't pour. Half of the city was marinated in flood water.

I have been feeling homesick lately. Actually I've been thinking of going home once I get a time off from work. Oh God, the comforts of being at home with so much time at your disposal not having to worry about bills, work and other adult stuff. I never thought I would appreciate domestication like this. Not to mention my family, friends and yup, even those people I usually don't want to see. Jeez.

Another thing that has been bugging me for the longest time now is... my long overdue, so old story singlehood. Gawd, when's the last time I said I love you to someone romantically? 1978?!

Tipsy

I'm half drunk right now. Went out with friends from work. Gawd, it's been over three months since I last went out, drink and party. It sucks I didn't get to dance my ass off though. Next time?

I gotta go. Wow, it's August. A month from now I'll be turning of American legal age. Am I ancient or what?

Nighters.

Pictionary

Photos taken during an uneventful early morning walk along my neighborhood all the way to Baywalk/Manila Bay.

Say hello to the first ever mall in Las Islas Filipinas- Harrison Plaza -the only enclosed mall I know where they allow people to smoke their lungs out inside this poorly airconditioned place.

I saw this guy on the way to and back from Baywalk. He was still alive. I checked.

This is Baywalk - jogging/excercise park by day, drinking hub by night.

One side of Baywalk is Manila Bay while the other is Roxas Boulevard, a major road, hotels, restaurants, offices, condominiums, etc.

I love my trusty Nike Cortez. I think I've had them for over five years now.

People go to Baywalk to get some Vitamin D, sweat out, make out and fish.

Say hello to Manila Bay.

Like I said, this is a very uneventful morning.

Need I say more? I was actually looking forward to seeing these instructors who teach tai chi, taebo, aerobics during weekend mornings but they were nowhere to be found that Friday.

Row, row, row your boat boys! LOL

Some people actually take a dip here at times. I know, it's revolting. Just think of how much spit, shit and bacteria is in that water considering people throw all sort of crap in the water day in and day out.

These seats don't get arranged until noon, I guess, when people go here to eat, drink and hang out.

This looks like a post-typhoon scene.This guy's not alone. You'll see street sleepers all over the city.

Cheek bones?

Purge

It may seem like all I know how to talk about here is clothes, mundane dilemmas, work and other shallow stuff, but really, there's a lot of stuff brewing inside me right now. I can't even put to words how impatient I am about the pace of my life, or how worried I am for myself or for my family back home, how deeply sad I am that I constantly feel so alone and all. Don't even get me started about how fucked up I am at the romance department and how I no longer find one-night stands or two-night stands that satisfying. I can't say I'm done with it, I dunno. I think I just want something more meaningful, more lasting.

I have insecurities. I bathe in insecurities. I comfort myself by thinking that if this person is rich good-looking and smart, I assume that he has a fucked up family or a puny penis. I have no idea why I'm saying all these things but I swear to god I am so sick of taking it all up. I'm so far from being perfect or being amodel citizen but hell, I've been trying to straighten things up.

At the end of the day, no matter how shallow I am, I do know how to set my priorities.

*I know I should not be forgiven for the things I write here considering I am a journalism graduate and I should know what is publishable and what stinks, and that i should be careful enough with my nouns, verbs, adverbs, splling and what not, but please, spare me. I don't edit my posts and I don't read them before I hit PUBLISH.

Chuck

I bought a pair of new Chucks this morning. My old pair are so worn out my toes are doing a peep show each time I wear them. I'm not really in the mood to write about stuff right now. I'm too down... yet again.

Say hello to the new Chuck Taylor. He's gonna take care of me during work.

Random Rants

Am I Bored or Boring?

Just when I've been observing my life and youth pass me by, here comes some what seems to be the cosmos' aid to my current depression.

Lately, for the nth time, I've been contemplating on how my life is so bland/generic like I was born to be bored. I don't know if it's my non-stop demand for excitement but the thought of letting each day, each week, each month pass by without any significant accomplishment just saddens me.

Anyway, this morning, when I was about to leave the office, after claiming my phone from the guard, I was surprised by three missed calls and four new messages which really psyched me because I usually just get two new messages and they would be forwarded quotes from the same person, or on the most pathetic times, I'd get none at all. For 12 hours, my phone would be in constant hybernation much like the owner's social life.

Not this morning though, one missed call was by a friend in college, another one from an acquaintance whom I've never met personally, and an unfamiliar number. The first message was from my sister, the other one from my acquaintance inviting me to a threesome, then there's another foreign number with the message "hello" and the last one from a new friend who used to be my mentor at the office.

Capital D

Before going home, I had to drop by to this market where I buy our arwana's food (live goldfish). The place is called Cartimar. Cartimar has got to be one of the most disgusting places I've ever been to. Don't get me wrong, I love the animals there but the place is just utterly revolting. The pet area has animal shit for fallen autumn leaves. You name it, dog shit, cat shit, bird shit, fish shit, then add a dash of dead/live roaches here and there plus a stream of filthy water and that's pretty much the ambiance. I loath going there not only because it's out of the way but because the stench and the stomach-turning ickiness all over the place is unbearable.

Dates

When I got home, I received a text message from a friend saying that she'd set me up on a date with a friend of her's. It's funny 'coz last night I was just whining to her how unenjoyable my date last Saturday was. ---Yes, that's another date. We ate pizza, talked, and that's it. Period. No sparks there, no fireworks, nada.--- And now, she got me a new one. That made me laugh. I don't know though, I checked out my potential date's online profile and I'm not really pleased. No attraction whatsoever. I don't mean to be superficial but I believe there's gotta be enough physical attraction to get things started. I believe that's where the chemistry starts. What do you think? Anyway, I'm gonna try to make things smooth and veer away from an awkward situation. Nonetheless, I truly appreciate my friend's gesture.

That's it for now. By the way I've been reading Jessica Zafra's Twisted Travels. It's an okay read, almost done with it. It's just that sometimes I feel like I'm studying. Got it the other day when I went to the mall and shopped for toiletries, like those expensivo Lush ice blue and honey soaps, some protection and lubrication, hair wax and brownies. Ciao.

Pictionary

Two completely different pictionaries in one day. I know the last one is fun, family and fab (?). This one is fucked. Oh please, I don't even have to explain.

Somebody had loads of fun the other night.

Gross?

Loves it.

Hahahahahahahah...

Have to scram. I'll try to get some sleep. Got work later.

Pictionary

These pix are long overdue but what the hell.

This is what my Mom and Dad spent for me when they visited the capital of Las Islas Filipinas- cosmo Manille:

2 shirts from Topman
1 pair pants from Topman
1 shirt from Zara
3 pairs of sock from Puma
1 sando undershirt from Bench
1 brief from Bench

It's not a lot but I love them all. Plus I had grand time shopping with my parents. I really am so glad Mom and Dad are also into shopping. The whole family is actually.

I know I'm earning already. They're both aware though that I'm paying a lot for the bills and the rent so they treated me out to a little shopping and I treated them to dinner and Starbucks. That was fun.

Some brands I like/love:

I miss my parents. I miss home. I miss my brother and sisters. I miss my cousind. I miss my friends. Ugh. Whatever.

A Page From My Human Diary

hey bitch. i hate you! why were you not responding earlier when i needed you most? i met up with **** and the ass is absolutely not my type. the jerk said he's twenty-fucking-six but he looks a decade older. i swear to god i'm so freakin' stupid. anyway, it's ok i guess. he doesn't seem to show that much interest either. he did however make me libre- dinner and cab fare, while i paid for our starbucks. gawd. i dunno if i'm annoying you but you're my friend right? hahah... oh well, this baby is once again playing the wide open field. i know we're looking for different things there but i'll see you in the playground. hope we find our individual serious playmates. or something like that. anyway, i just had sex with another stranger. it's better to talk about all this on the phone though so... till then. keep in touch. and pls let me know you're still breathing there. GAWD. i've been calling and you're never picking up. you take care. hello to cuppy cake, your pot belly pig. arn-arn the arwana also says hi.

---I just sent this msg to a very dear friend. I don't know why I'm posting it here but whatever. What the hell. Anyway, I'm too tired to explain and blab so bye. Nighters.

Depression 3

I honestly don't know what to say. My housemates are not sleeping at our place tonight because they both have individual affairs to deal with, while I'm stuck there with the cleaning lady who's staying over 2 nights a week to do make our lives better. Ugh. It's annoying that I haven't been getting it on lately. If I want, I would've gotten a lot I mean there ARE invitations. I just haven't given in. All because I'm trying to get this serious relationship thing a shot. And but the one I have is far from serious, I can't even say that there IS actually a relationship. There might be something brewing but it's irritating the hell out of me. It's like we're stuck in some sort of gray area and we don't know where else to go. We've tried to move a few steps to figure things out and finalize whatever it is that we have but we keep screwing it up. And I'm not talking about screwing it up like dirty screwing it up. Not at all. Unfortunately.

Anyway, enough with that. I'm having commitment/relationship problems/confusion. Period.

I'm not going to waste precious bytes and minutes ranting about worthless crap anymore. Let me go ahead and surf away and hopefully feel better afterwards. Bye.

P.S.
Has anyone else heard of Glytone? I read about it thru bryanboy.com. I'm interested in trying it.

Fathers' Day

I have a headache. That's why I have to make this short.

Yesterday, my parents, brother and nephew arrived town. My brother and nephew flew off to the states at10 PM. While I went shopping with my Mom and Dad today, Fathers' Day. Got a little teary-eyed when my brother. We're not really emotionally but I like him and I will surely miss them both. My first and only (immediate) nephew is soooo adorable. I miss him already.

Anyway, like I said, went out with my parents to day who are here in town. They went with my brother and nephew to Manila to make them hatid and they took the chance to visit me. We shopped, using their card of course! Hahahah... It was fun. Mom and I split the bill cos I wanted to sort of treat them out since I'm already earning. Would have paid for the entire bill but Mom insisted, which is a good thing otherwise I would have broken my budget. Bubba Gump is not exactly a cheap resto so the food is expectedly great, matching the cost.

We also went grocery shopping. We'll visit Mall of Asia tomorrow and probably get a few more stuff.

As I've mentioned, I have a headache. Gotta go and get some shut-eye. Nighters.

Sickening, Stupid, Cheesy Affair

Hi. I'm a little febrile right now. I'm also a little pissed off. See, the empending romance that left me crying twice already went back this week, which is supposed to be awesome right? Not really. The twat is as insensitive as a rock. I hate it. I'm thinking that may actually be one of the reasons why I'm sick right now--love sick? Eww.

Okay, I'll be honest. It's been a really long time since I've last said 'I LOVE YOU' to anyone like romantically. Until yesterday of course. It' pretty patetic this "thing." Whatever. I want to hope things will work out well for the both of us but I don't know if that's possible. Gawd, what's up with me? I'm starting to think I'm so desperate I'm settling for this inconveniently, unconventionally, pathetically romantic relationship. It's a tragedy.

I'm confused. Just talking about this makes me sick even more. By the way, I've been catching on my sleep lately, it's crazy. I've slept for like fifteen hours in the last 24 hours.

Fireworks

I don't know what the occasion was, but there were fireworks all over town last night. It was spectacular. I dunno but it gave me a really great feeling as if I'm a kid again or something. Cheesy huh? Not sure but maybe it's due to the fact that I got romantically offended again for the nth time? Whatev. The fireworks display was just really beautiful nonetheless. I couldn't help but take photos.We're at the 26th floor so have a pretty good view of the city.

(The camera was running out of charge so I didn't have time to adjust the settings to capture the scene properly)

Before we I end this pictionary, let me throw one big cheeseball that's been in my mind since yesterday. "It ended even before it started."

How's that? Nighters.

Rainy Days

It's June. Say hello to rainy season. I dunno about you but I don't like rain unless I'm home having a movie marathon and bingeing OR somewhere having mind-blowing sex.

There's just nothing good about going out there and getting your shoes and pants dirty and muddy and icky. I hate it. Things are worse when you take public transport. Ugh. And Manila is like flood centrale so that makes things hellacious.

Anyway, I received my second pay at work this week. It's not that big. Damn those taxes that go straight to the pocket of those dirty politicians.

Went to the mall with relatives and someone who just arrived from the states. I played tour guide so I'm really exhausted. I was able to get lip balm and powder though. I really wish I'd be able to save up soon and finally unleash my inner shopping devil. I mean, I've been holding it for so long. Gawd. I hyperventilate everytime I'm at the mall, looking but not buying. I hate it. I've said it once and I'm gonna say it again; this the expensive price I pay for independence. Oh well, at least I'm earning my own money now.

I gotta surf away. Ciao.

Kudos! Kudos!

Hi. Oh my god I'm knackered to the bone. Just got off from work. My body clock'c fucked up coz our schedule got altered. From 3-11PM, it's now 5AM-2PM. How's that for battery? I only slept for about an hour and a half last night coz I'm not used to sleeping too early, like earlier than 1 AM. So here I am now, tired like a gang-raped cow.

I can't do up to the unit yet since there's fire drill going on in the building.

Anyway, I already graduated from training last Friday. Appaluse, snaps and standing ovation please.

Today was the first day of nesting/ taking calls with the supervision and guidance of mentors. It's great coz I got a kudos call. That's what they call it when the customer wants to talk to the supervisor and tell him what a good job the agent has done providing good service and patience and all, catering to the needs of the caller. And that agent is moi. Hahahah... Ahluvet.

Got lucky I guess.

I'm so exhausted though. I feel like a zombie.

Have. To. Sleep. Very. Soon.

I'm gonna try to update as soon as possible.

Ciao.

Depression 2

I'm just dropping by. I love this day. I passed the friggin' third week assessment for training! Ugh, work is such a bitch but it's pretty rewarding when you accomplish something. I love it.

Anyway, I don't really have time to elaborate everything simply because I'm too lazy to do that and I have to surf away online.

I have here some pics though. Taken the other night when I was depressed like hell.

Ohmigod. I just heard somebody from the 5th floor fell/jumped off. He's dead and still on the ground with blood everywhere according to my source. Might check that out later. Wow. Now that's depressing. I guess I'm still lucky, huh.